Sanoviv: Detox Protocol

While hubby was at the hospital, he suggested that I do the Detox protocol. This protocol is usually done in concert with one of the other protocols (Lyme, etc.) but it can be done by itself.

By way of full disclosure, the 7 day program is just under $5,000.

The program includes: Lab Tests (CBC, SMAC, C-reactive protein, stool analysis, urinalysis, blood typing); EKG; MaxPulse (HRV & Vessel health); Bioimpedance Analysis; Microscopic Blood Analysis; Ultrasound (liver/gall bladder); Colon Hydrotherapy (one wheat grass, one coffee); Bioenergetic Therapy (e.g., The Quiet Room); Medical consults (M.D., Psych, Dentist, Nutritionist, Chiropractor, etc.); Dental full 3D Xray, mercury testing, evaluation; Nutrition assessment (including fat/water/muscle percentage, building eating program to your lab work); Fitness assessment & private session; Fitness classes (Swiss ball, yoga, water fitness, stretching, tai chi); 2 Spa Treatments daily (swedish, lymphatic, reflexology, Chi bath detox, seaweed body wrap, thalassotherapy, infrared sauna, MRT, parafango); food prep/juicing classes; supplements (Designs for Health GI Revive; USANA Vita Antioxidant, Core Mineral, Hepasil, Probiotics and Digestive enzyme; Heel detox; GI MicrobX); Energy Medicine/Meditation classes; Sound Yoga/Laughing Yoga; nightly lectures.

Of course it also includes your ocean-front room (all rooms are ocean-front), and the detoxification diet, which is the Sanoviv diet as discussed before.

If your doctor prescribes any medication or supplement that is not listed above on the “supplements,” that is added to your statement at the end. By way of example, my stool sample (TMI) showed that while I chewed my food thoroughly enough, some food was still making it into my colon. As such, she said that I needed to boost my stomach digestion, and she swapped out the USANA digestive enzyme for one from Designs For Health, which has HCl in it. She said that, unlike medicines, the digestive enzymes actually help your body to produce your own, so taking it would ultimately “teach” my system to boost the stomach acid enough to dissolve the food enough that it did not make it into the colon. (I will not talk about the colon hydrotherapy and what you “see” with that – suffice it to say that it is eye opening…!)

Since hubby’s program already had me as a Companion, we took 7 x $100 off of the price. I did not have IVs indicated (my Vitamin D, C, DHEA, etc. were “perfect”), but if I had needed them, they are an additional $260 or so.

There is another program at about the same price that has more labwork (can’t quite remember what it’s called) – but when I discussed this with the Coordinator to decide which program to do, he said that if the doctor felt that I needed those tests, I could add them – however, that program didn’t have all the spa and Quiet Room treatments that the Detox program did. That’s why I chose that program.

At the end, you’re giving a binder with all of your tests, a DVD of your dental 3D Xray to bring home, etc. Because my lab work, fitness test, and the like were perfect, my doctor recommended three additional tests for me – although I already have my binder (the program ended Sunday), those results will either come in this week, or might come after we’re back home. She said that she will call and go over them with me, and send me the results. Those tests were a full hormone panel test, a thyroid test, and a test to see if I am either insulin resistant or in adrenal fatigue. Her view is that since my eating is excellent and fitness is excellent, the reason that I have put on weight and can’t rid myself of it is that something is “off” on a more microscopic level.

This post will be looooo-ong. But when I went searching for information on Sanoviv, there really weren’t any blog posts, Instagram posts, etc. that detailed everything. So, that’s what this (and the previous blog posts, actually) have been for. Folks looking for the specifics.

Before You Start…

Read what’s sent to you! You’re instructed to remove all nail polish, acrylic nails, don’t bring jewelry, don’t bring smelly things (from perfumes to essential oils), etc. Come On. Just do it.

I’ve been here now over three weeks, and so folks have come and gone. On the “intake day,” I’ve been so surprised at how many women don’t follow these rules. Here’s the deal: If you don’t take off your nail polish, your gel polish, your acrylic nails, your false eyelashes, etc. there is no way to do it here. And some of the protocols very specifically state that you can’t do them if you have not removed these things. The idea is that all of these are not “natural to” your body – as such, in any program (particularly Detox!) you are supposed to be “as you were born” so to say. You have parts that you can’t remove? (Like, for example, metal screws in a bone?) Tell them. Then you can’t do some of the magnetic therapies, but others you’ll be just fine. But if you weren’t born with it, do not come with it. Believe me, no one cares that you have no eyelashes, that your “been under acrylic for ten years” nails are going to be like tissue paper, that without your hair weave you’re nearly bald. (Wo)man up – do what you’re supposed to do.

If you have jewelry that has some “energetic value” to you, bring it but then ask for it to be charged for you in the Quiet Room. “You” say that this jewelry is great for you. How do you know? I personally have a pair of earrings and a necklace that I wear about 99.9% of the time, but I left them at home because you are instructed not to bring any jewelry, except your wedding ring if you “have to have it.” (No, not your big rock engagement ring.) I wish I had brought them, because I would have liked to have done the charging on them in the Quiet Room, but this is a special service. I personally wore a Qalo wedding ring to really follow the rules. Hubby wore a bracelet that I got him for his treatments last year, which he has had charged and does wear. But please, please don’t be “that girl” that has her mega-rock (and false eyelashes, and acrylic nails). Anything you weren’t born with is supposed to stay at home. And you know what? Maybe at the end of all this, you might re-think putting that back on your body . . .

Day One (Monday): Admitting Day

My day was a little different than the “usual,” as I had gone through all this with hubby. You will get your room, your Sanoviv clothing, an orientation, and a tour. In the afternoon, you’re likely to report to Special Care (the hospital floor/floor 2) for an EKG and your admitting consult. Other than that, you do what you’ll be doing every day: 6:40 a.m. go to the Mansion to get lemon and cayenne water; 7:00 do the class (laughing yoga, meditation, energy medicine, etc.); 8:00 do the fitness class (stretching, rebounding, etc.); 8:30 go to breakfast; 9:56 get your “green drink” (wheat grass, chlorophyll); 10:56 get your snack (today it was raw cacao almond flour muffins with nut butter NOM NOM); 1:00 pm Lunch; 1:35 Quick Food Prep Class; 2:56 green juice (this isn’t a “wheat grass” it’s a juice made up of like celery, cilantro, carrots, etc.); 4:56 “healthy beverage” (this can be golden milk, hot hibiscus tea, etc.); 6:00 dinner; 7:00 lecture.

On my Day One, we had Laughing Yoga for the 7:00 a.m class. It was GREAT. HERE is a link to a number of articles on the chemistry of laughing. My psychologist (Dr. Fernando) leads this. As he said, one must always remember that Motion creates E-motion. As such, in the exercise, if you can’t actually laugh, then make a false laugh. If you can’t even do that, then smile and if that even doesn’t work, then make a fake smile. There is a scientific basis for all of this. The idea is to have fewer words and more gestures, plus to have eye contact. When we use words we are in our head and “rational,” which has been clinically proven to be that you are “out” of your body. Especially these days, we don’t take enough time to be in our body and to Honor our Bodies. That is what this class is about.

The great thing about Laughing is that it is a social phenomenon – it’s “catching.” It’s also important to realize that you don’t need something humorous (words/watching comedy) to laugh. If you look at young kids, they can just laugh and shift. By way of example, you’ll see a couple kids fighting and a second later they’ll be laughing. It is our nature to be joyful like the child. There has been a lot of work done in this area, not only with respect to Laughter itself, but with respect to Compassion and Kindness. They are all “catching.”

Laughing yoga really was fun. You start off in a circle, and you have exercises that help you to look foolish and work “up to” laughing. The first exercise, by way of example, you move throughout the circle with your finger tilting your nose up like a pig. You make a “HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!” sound, then move on to another person. By the end, just by looking at how silly your partner looks (and imagining that you look just as silly), everyone is really laughing. There are other exercises, but at the end, everyone’s heads are in a circle, feet out. Dr. Fernando has a great laugh. He starts up, and you can’t help but start laughing. The laughter will die down for a bit, and then someone will snort, or laugh, or breathe funny, and it will all start back up again. By the end you are wiping your eyes, holding your gut, and feeling so connected with everyone. What a great practice! On the schedule right now, Laughing Yoga is every Monday.

Mondays have a quick food prep class after Lunch, and a Breath, Detox and Relaxation seminar in the evening.

Day Two (Tuesday): Labs, Doctors, Spa

Day Two you start off fasted, and go down and get your blood drawn. You will be given a collection vial for stool and urine samples, which you’ll do that day and drop off at the lab.

They take a lot of blood, but my phlebotomist (Arturo) was outstanding. I mean, I’m the worst person to get blood from. My veins roll, they are tiny, they close off, etc. He got his gallon without breaking a sweat.

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The morning class on Tuesdays is Sound Meditation. I’ve discussed this before, when I did it with the hubby. Dr. Sandra from the Psych department leads it. It’s great. You will meet your doctor team on this day. Unfortunately you only get one “date” with your therapist and the Body/Mind person, and also only one with the chiropractor, on this program. (I am paying for a couple more sessions this week, while hubby is back on his cancer program, but that’s unusual.) You will see your M.D. a few times, and your Nutritionist at least two times (because they look at the results of your lab work and tailor things to you). You see the Dentist on your second day to get your Xrays, check your teeth, etc., but you will see him or her later on to get the results. All folks who see you meet every single day, to tailor your experience.

On Tuesdays, there is a Cooking Class in the Mansion, and Tai Chi in the fitness room in the afternoon. The evening class is on Digestion and Detox.

My first spa treatment was a Lymphatic Massage. Your lymph system – a separate “waste carrying system” in your body – doesn’t have a pump like your blood system does (your heart). The only way to get lymph “moving” is by moving your body. That means more than just walking – it means things like stretching, yoga, etc. The entire lymph system can only be “engaged” by moving every part of your body. A Lymphatic Massage, however (“rich man’s exercise”) engages your lymphatic system by working all the muscles with light, “petting” strokes that end at your lymph nodes (neck, under the arm, thigh) so that your lymph system can “clear out” anything that was stuck in your lymph system. You have to drink a lot of water at Sanoviv (1/2 your body weight in ounces a day), and it’s particularly important to do so after you have any sort of Detox treatment.

I had my Quiet Room intake also, using the Max Pulse. Here’s a machine that won’t work correctly if you have on nail polish, etc. It measures your sympathetic (SNS), parasympathetic (PNS), physical stress, mental stress, stress resistance, etc. levels. The photo that you see above is mine. As you can see, my body stress is okay, stress “handling” is okay, but mental stress is “off the chart” – and my “fight or flight” (sympathetic/SNS) system is also off the charts. My parasympathetic system (relaxation/PNS) is basically non-existent. Whoops…. :-) After doing the MaxPulse, I had my first Quiet Room treatment, which was on the Super Tuning machine.

The Super Tuning machine will also charge your water (it will remain charged for 24 hours), and any jewelry that you might want to charge. It is a German machine, and is called “Effective Biotriggers” in Germany.

The idea is that all living systems are supposed to have a natural “frequency” and resonance, but we deviate from it. For those of you who have been friends for a very long time, you might have read my short story after we returned from hiking the French Alps (from Mont Blanc to the Mediterranean) where we had no cell phones, etc. for the entire period. When I returned, I tried to wear my Blackberry near my body, but I had a serious reaction to it. The doctor (yes, a real M.D. at Kaiser!) told me that’s because I had been so far away from electronics, that my body had “returned” to “direct current” which is what we’re meant to be. But, since we’re nearly all water, if we have “alternating current” items near or around us, our bodies will match that “alternating” current. The doctor back then explained that this is why I couldn’t put the Blackberry near my body without feeling a headache within 15 minutes – that my body had returned to “direct” current and was fighting the ‘AC’ current of the device. He also said (which is how I ended my short story) that I should “not worry,” because “in a few days, you’ll be back in alternating current, and won’t feel it at all.” (Cue “Flowers for Algernon”)

The Copen Super Tuning System was developed from space travel research, sensory deprivation research, and biochemical work at the Max Planck Institute. It detects and balances your energetic systems, by using octave colors according to didactic simplicity, e.g., red, orange, yellow orange, yellow, yellow green, green, turquoise, blue, indigo, violet purple, deep red.

How was it? Um . . . I immediately fell asleep ;-)

Day Three (Wednesday): Rinse, Repeat

The morning class is the Kundalini Yoga, which I have discussed before. There is a Stretching class after (it said Rebounding on the schedule, but it was Stretching), a Cardio and Strength class before Lunch (I had doctors’ visits), and a Psychology lecture after dinner.

My Spa treatment today was the Body Wrap, which is 90 minutes. I would just like to say that there is nothing as sexy as the little blue paper bikini that you’re required by law to wear.

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First, you are dry scrubbed with almond-based meal that smells like pumpkin pie spice or chai tea. This is then washed off with a five-headed rolling water “faucet” of hot water.

You are then taken to the deep soak “sit” tubs. One is filled for you with hot water and a bath addition that I didn’t catch the blend of (but I think she said it includes Hawaiian lava salt). After you have soaked for a while, you’re taken out of the bath, washed by a hose with cool water front and back, then (gasp) you’re required to dip yourself three times (over your head) in the plunge cold bath. IT’S COLD!

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You are then led to the sauna at 145F for 10-15 minutes. This is when I was reminded that – yep – I do NOT like saunas! After you’re cooked, back out you come, cold-hosed off front and back, then (ack!) three more over-the-head plunges into the cold bath. Now you’re led dripping back to the room with the table, where you are washed all over with “Incredible Hulk green” seaweed (including your hair and face), then wrapped up a la burrito for 1/2 hour. (Don’t forget to pee first.) It makes your hair feel AMAZING, but REMEMBER TO BRING A BRUSH – otherwise when you leave you look um “special.”

Tuesdays are Water Aerobics Day – which is a lot of fun actually.

I also saw Dr. Labrada today (the chiropractor), who mainly did a lot of muscle-testing. He was the guy that did what hubby said was a “TED Talk-worthy” talk last week. Lots and LOTS of muscle testing, relating emotion to organs to muscles, etc. Head to toe. Very similar to mind/body work – muscle testing, put your hand here, make your brain talk to your body, etc. At the end, he adjusted my upper shoulder area, which has been out for 4 days and was why I wanted to be on a program in the first place ;-) (You can only see the doctors if you’re on a program – as a Companion, you can do spa treatments if there is space available, but you can’t see the doctors.)

The Fitness test was somewhat comical. I was told that I “had to do” push ups on my knees, which I refused, because it hurts. (I was told I was “prideful” :-) ) That said, and due to a few other comments that “got my dandruff up” as my mom might say (Hi Mom), I wound up doing 22 (Men’s) pushups, which blew me off the chart. (Hubby had done 13, by comparison.) I did 24 of the specific sit ups that they require – fingertips on your ears, reaching up with your shoulders (elbows need to stay even with your head). My heart rate only got to 91 doing 3 minutes of step-ups, my flexibility and torsion was Excellent, left grip Excellent, right hand Very Good. Can’t remember what else there was, but it was very much like a Presidential Physical Fitness Test.

The Dental exam showed no mercury, and I was printed out an incredibly detailed chart related to my mouth and what the doctor saw. One thing that was fascinating was that he showed me brushing issues. My top back molars were not “brushed as much as” other teeth, on their inside face. I said I’d try better. Gums tested as great. Interestingly, when I got back to the room I tried out the brushing protocol he recommended . . . and surprise! – when I got to the “inside upper back” molars, brushing there tickled the top of my mouth like crazy! So obviously I have subconsciously not been brushing those teeth as often.

My Quiet Room was a 60 minute treatment called “Ondamed.” This was really cool. It’s pulsed electromagnetic frequency therapy. You put …. hm, sort of like a diver’s weight belt on your chest, that goes from your pelvic bone up to your throat, and a thing that looks like a tuning fork on your temples. The machine delivers a series of electromagnetic frequencies as focused pulsed electromagnetic field stimulation (PEMF) within the spectrum of human physiology. This means that it uses the same frequencies that your cells use to communicate with one another. While you can’t feel these frequencies consciously, your cells respond to them. The cells tell the machine what protocol you need “the most,” first. (You get three.) Of all the possible frequencies, your body’s tissues resonate with only a handful that are favored. When the machine gets that information, it is tuned to the frequencies that it is being told the body wants “right now.” The machine is then set to those frequencies. After that’s done, another test is done, asking for the 2nd. And then the 3d. Marilu, the operator, showed me the book, which has about 300+ different frequency combinations and what studies have shown them to be tied to. She said that sometimes what comes up doesn’t make sense at that time, but that’s what the body’s asking for.

My #1 was Asthma. I told her that I do have athletic Asthma, though it doesn’t come up that often. We talked a bit about the energetics of Asthma, then she set the machine to give the body what it wanted in that respect. My #2 was (as she explained it) Biorhythms being off, “as if I were a night or swing shift worker.” Well, by this time, I’d been having a few horrible nights sleeping, since hubby had been in the hospital since Sunday. (I normally sleep like a rock.) She said that must be it (she was delighted actually), and she also said that this one hadn’t come up, so she had to figure out how to do the treatment for that one. It was more involved than my #1 and #3, which just involved the position of the “breastplate/diver’s belt” and the “tongs.” She had to get another, smaller “diver’s belt” and she had to hold it over my head, moving it each minute to a different spot, for this #2. My #3 was hormonal imbalance. This was also not a huge surprise, as that is what the Nutritionist and my MD had both said must be an issue, as I was overfat by about 25 pounds but with what I eat and the exercise I get, there had to be “something besides just stress” related to it. Marilu was very pleased that all 3 of my Ondamed treatments were something I could relate to.

Human cells operate in the range of 1 to 32,000 Hz. In other words, the highest frequency to which the body was designed to respond is approximately 32,000 waves per second. By contrast, cell phones operate in the range of 3 or 4 Gigahertz, meaning 3 or 4 billion waves per second. These waves have been clinically proven to damage DNA, and are being studied related to brain cancer. They are being tested as well for men who carry their cell phones in their front pockets/infertility. Physicists have been able to identify specific frequencies within the healthy human spectrum that help rather than harm human cells; they stimulate repair, reduce inflammation, and facilitate healing. That’s what Ondamed does.

Day 4 (Thursday): Happy Birthday America! (July 4th)

Today involved Mindful Movement Meditation (i.e., walking on the lawn) in the morning. I have to say that at one point I looked up and had to turn away so that no one could see me laughing. We looked like a flock of the living dead! Aaaarrrrrrr . . . all in our matching Sanoviv sweats, walking slowly, some with very intense looks on their faces . . .

Swedish Massage today, Thalasso pools, and two Quiet Room treatments.

My Nutrition “discharge” showed me the results of my BIA (Bioelectric Impedance Analysis). Both Sue (Nutritionist) and actually the chiropractor I saw today (H’s “miracle worker,” Dr. Raymundo) said that perhaps part of the OAB issue is that I drink enough water, but that it’s not staying in my system. Both suggested adding the electrolyte ice cubes (the recipes were back on the Recipe page – by the way, I’m updating that daily FWIW) and/or full spectrum salt every time I have water. My fat percentage is 28% – to have an optimal number (20%), I’d need to lose about 25-30 pounds, presuming that I could keep the muscle numbers where they are. My fat free mass is 72% or 133 pounds. My BMR is 1860, total body water is 49% or 69% of my lean mass. (It should be at 75%.) My intracellular water was 50%, which means I am dehydrated at a cellular level (optimal is about 55%). My phase angle is 6.7 – this is an indicator of cell membrane fluidity and integrity and can be an indicator of insulin resistance. Normal for females my age is 6.6 – 10.9, so I’m fine but on the low end. (We are doing an insulin resistance blood lab.) My capacitance, which is the electrical potential of the cell membranes (which relates to the minerals in body fluid or the total energy storage capacity of the body cell mass) was 686, where 600-800 is good for females my age. Again, this could be higher but it’s in the normal range. Finally, my body mass index was 25.1, which is over, though it’s not a particularly good measure (the others are better).

Then we were back to Hydration. I was reminded to continue to drink the lemon/cayenne water every morning, and to ensure that I have 1/2 my body weight in water daily – with this water having the electrolyte support. Water intake should be higher until about 4:00 p.m., then should taper way off, and water at meals should be limited to at most 3 ounces. This ensures that your stomach acid is optimally supported. A lot of water after 4:00 is suboptimal.

Another recommended hydration protocol was from 7 a.m. to about 4 p.m., drink 3-4 ounces of water every 30 minutes. Every OTHER drink, add the electrolytes. So it would be 7:00 a.m. 3-4 oz regular water; 7:30 a.m. 3-4 oz of electrolyte water; 8:00 a.m. 3-4 oz of regular water; etc. This is the best way to slowly rehydrate tissues and in particular intracellular areas. It allows the body to absorb the water optimally. Do not use a “commercial” electrolyte – make the one provided in Recipes, it is “real food” and your body will accept it best.

I believe that I’ve mentioned this before, but the only mineral that tested a bit low in my labs was iodine, so it was recommended that I be sure to use iodized salt; I can also eat “underwater green leafies,” or some wild-caught shellfish. Was reminded that eating “lower on the food chain is better” so eating the nori/kelp that the shellfish eat is the best option.

This is the day that hubby came home. Yay!

Day 5 (Friday): Discharge Day

Though you have a couple more days of spa treatments and Quiet Room, this is your last day with the doctors.

Every Friday starts with Meditation and Mind-Body Practice/Energy Medicine. Today we worked on the standard EFT Tapping Procedure, Connecting Heaven and Earth procedure, the Wayne Cook Posture, and a technique for anxiety, and one for anger. I’ll write more about these, perhaps, or do some links, but I’m getting tired ;-) You can find these in video form on YouTube by putting Donna Eden, Energy Medicine and then the technique you’d like to see. For example, “expelling the venom” is for frustration/anger, Wayne Cook is when you are overwhelmed, can’t stop crying, etc. and need to come back to yourself, Connecting Heaven and Earth is when you are starting to feel sick or have picked up someone else’s energy. It also brings fresh Oxygen to your cells. The doctor reminded us that if we don’t feel a reaction after doing a certain protocol, it is likely that our body just didn’t need it. But it can never do harm.

One technique that we did that is very useful and easy involves re-connecting your brain and your body. You pat your temples with both hands (on what’s called the “gamma point”) throughout. First, close your eyes, then open them and look straight ahead. Close them again, open them straight again. Now look down to the right, down to the left, circle them clockwise, circle them anticlockwise. Look straight ahead and hum a piece of a tune you know (example, “Happy Birthday”). This engages the right side of your brain. Then count loudly 1-2-3-4-5! This engages the left side of your brain. Hum the tune again, and count again. You’re done!

After this class, you move to a Stretching class (today it was done on the Swiss Ball, which was actually fun). One thing that we were reminded is that different types of exercise increases microbial diversity in your gut. So exercise is good for digestion in more ways than just making you a little hungry!

I had another lymphatic massage, and reflexology with parafango.

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The tide was way out, and all the pelicans piled up on the rocks that, usually, you can’t see.

Day 6 (Saturday): Mo’Spa Mo’ Spa

Saturday is an Energy Medicine/Meditation day in the morning, and dinner has live music (wonderful old guy with a guitar, who will play whatever you like, but particularly likes to sing the old Mexican love songs). Saturday is also “movie night” but so far the movies have been the kind that we can stand for about 5 minutes, so generally it’s been a reading night for us.

Wow, have I read a lot of books while here! I brought Moneyball, How Not To Die, Killer Angels, Radical Remission, a book written by a friend of my dad’s, then I read the FBI novel the folks gave to me we met a couple weeks ago, borrowed a Michael Crichton (Prey) and a Richard Castle (yes really) out of the library, and I’m reading something else from there now.

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Folks do a lot of puzzles here – hubby and I have played either backgammon, Scrabble, or Blokus every evening. We’re about evenly matched on the backgammon front (though I have better luck with doubles), I do better with Scrabble (I mean – I’d better!) and though I’m getting better, he creams me every time with Blokus. I watched TV when he was gone in Tijuana, otherwise we haven’t used the TV at all. (Though it wakes you up with Mozart at 6!)

Today I had the body wrap again, plus Matrix Regeneration Therapy (MRT) with parafango afterwards.

MRT manipulates the “matrix” (or soft connective tissue) of your body. It connects the vascular, lymph, and nervous systems with the organs, and is the infrastructure for the organ cells. If it is overloaded, care of the organs can be obstructed. The Med-Matrix machine gives the matrix/soft connective tissue the ability to be “freed from” adhesions, metabolic waste, etc. so that it can recover. It uses petechial suction and rhythmic DC current.

What does that mean?

Ahem.

You lie on your stomach. They turn on the machine, and “petechial suction” means they use the machine to suck your skin and connective tissue off your bones. They start at your neck, and “vacuum” from your spine down to your side (think ‘along a rib’). You can’t breathe, it’s so intense. They keep doing it, and you start listening intently to the machine, because when the pitch increases, that means they’re just about to “un-suck” the machine from your side in preparation to start again at your spine. The operator is very thorough – like a cleaner doing a rug or a mower doing a baseball field. Every inch is covered. You have from the moment they de-suction the sucker until they put it back at your spine to pant a little, then hold your breath again. They do this all the way down from your neck to the base of your glutes.

Once they’ve done the first side of your back, they hit you with a little wheelie thing, which is the rhythmic DC. You can’t actually see it (of course, you’re on your stomach, getting toilet-bowl face marks via the headpiece on the massage table), but basically it sends a weak direct current into your tissue via roller electrodes, which “neutralizes” the tissue, changing it from an abnormal charge (if you have it) to a healthy one. Just when you’re getting ready to relax, it’s time to start your other side with the MRT . . .

After the second rhythmic DC, the therapist goes out and gets the big parafango packs. These are huge paraffin/mud packs encased in a thin film, that suck toxins out of your body. they are about 9,000 degrees Fahrenheit. One goes on your back, the other goes across your butt. These stay on until sweat is dripping off the table in just the right amount, and then you can get up. I mean – if you can…

I had the MRT and then went directly into a Body Wrap (with Priscilla, who was fantastic) and from there into the Quiet Room. I was Detox-zausted.

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Day 7 (Sunday): Last Day

Sunday is a quiet day at Sanoviv. There are no classes – just spa things and of course, meals.

Today I had a Swedish Massage followed by a Detox Chi Bath. I need to get the name of the therapist (I think it is Eunice, but I’m not 100% sure), because it was by far the best Swedish Massage I have ever had. The Detox Chi Bath is made up of:

4.0 mg of artemisia argyi – chinese mugwort/silvery wormwood
4.5 gm of atractylodes lancea

4.5 gm of carthamus tinctorius – safflower
4.5 gm of cinnamomum cassia – chinese cinnamon
4.5 gm of eupatorium fortunei

4.5 gm of ligusticum sinensis – chinese lovage

4.5 gm of notopterygium incisum – qiang huo

4.5 gm of saposhnikovia divaricata

Are you wondering why I have all those links at the ready, since I’m exhausted from typing? Because the combo of the Detox Bath and the Swedish Massage sent me into Detox Coma. As in, I got out of that bath (which also of course included the de rigeur cold hose off and three-times-over-the-head cold plunge dunk, x 2) and just about literally crawled into the elevator and into bed. Hubby, who for this week (until he got his results on Monday from the Tijuana hospital) was MY Companion, was in the room getting ready for Lunch, and I told him that I had to have him bring me the Lunch up on a tray. (Yes, really.) As I pretty much never ask for anything like this, he was off like a shot and brought it back for me.

About an hour later I was fine – and that’s when I researched the above (and sent myself an email). I made the therapist give me the packet that the bath came in, so I could research it.

As a glutton for punishment (no, you don’t get a choice – all are chosen ‘for’ you), my final spa therapy was the MRT/parafango again. Interestingly, it wasn’t 1/2 as bad this time (one day after). A few times on my sides and on my glutes I got the full-on Oh My Lord This Is Pantingly Painful feeling, but I guess that the machine “did its job” the first time, and my skin and “stuff” had been sufficiently “sucked off” of the “stuff” below it – so it didn’t feel like my skin and fascia was being vacuumed off my bones.

One thing I’d promised myself – because I could find next to nothing on Sanoviv – was that when I got here, I would really document what happened. So – that’s what this blog is about. I hope that it is helpful to something who might be considering coming here. It’s such a pretty place – though I did take a photo while waiting for the elevator today on the 7th floor of what the “surrounding area” looks like. (No, those aren’t space alien ships – those are the reflections of the lights above my head.) The white in the foreground is the wall surrounding the property, which we have taken to calling “Hotel Baja California” (for obvious reasons . . . ).

AAAAAAND, a reminder! Hubby does not know about the blog, please don’t mention it to “us” (or him) if you’d like me to keep doing it (and stay married LOL)