I’m behind on my reading… What else is new. I came across this article in MediaBistro.com a while back on the new James Bond novel and how it may “save book publishing” — thought you might like to give it a read.
OK OK – the best part is actually the 9 minute clip of the chase scene from Casino Royale – make sure you scroll down to check that out in the article, too. Can’t wait for November 7th and the new film, Quantum of Solace!
Here are a few comments that the Thursday Evening Bond Grrls posted to me in email:
Thanks so much for inviting me to the call. Just the process of doing my ‘incomplete homework” is a valuable self-discovery journey for me. I’m 100% sure I can benefit from this type of coaching program…. I can totally see how the ‘master mind” group can benefit everyone, because you get many ideas from the fresh angles…
– Peony
Dear Solitaire: Thank you for the inspiring coaching call this evening. I know that this class has jump-started my week. I can’t wait to implement what I’ve learned and get started with my action steps fueled by my renewed commitment. Thank you!
– Flexi
You’re amazing…I had no idea you were such an accomplished coach-wow! The many talents of Sandy Shepard…I thought it was a really good session…the exercise was very good too.
-Hot Mama
Great job. Thanks so much for featuring me…. I love the idea regarding the levels of ‘membership’ for my “Bod Pod”/CDs. I need to hook up with you to get my forms back and give you the financial ones. [After I did the Fast Start exercise,] it turns out that I’m making about $15 bucks an hour.. yikes! All in all a FABULOUS FIRST OUTING. You [freaking] ROCK.
-Arielle
Thanks for the call last night. I left feeling very “green/blue” (my color) so I was in a good place…. I thought you did an incredible job of summarizing the contents of our homework and remembering bits from all of us (even mine). I was also struck by the fact that I’m sure I would LOVE the other Bond Grrls on the call (as friends) and that we probably had a lot in common. I thought about the fact (you brought this up) that we all felt we had accomplished a lot in our lives [and] I know I feel I kind of “fell into it” and didn’t really have much say in how my career developed. I know SOME of it I directed but think maybe we don’t give ourselves enough credit for being in the right place for accomplishing what we have. For example: my [international career] experience was great but looking back, I realize that not every 26 year old would raise her hand to relocate to a new country, so I should give myself more credit!
– MO
I had a lot of fun with the coaching call. Those that subscribe will gain a lot with your help.
– Mica
This post carries on from the Podcast of our first Fempower(R) Lifestyle Training call on May 8th with my “Thursday Evening Bond Grrrrls.” Each member has agreed to let the process be open on this Blog, so that others can see what Fempower(R) Coaching is all about.
One issue that I did not bring up in the Weekly Update but I will likely bring up in the call on May 22nd was the “belching issue.” A couple of the women on the call mentioned this specifically. If you have listened to the podcast, you will hear an enormous belch about 3/4 of the way through. It was while one of the Bond Grrls was speaking in the Masterminding session. (If you haven’t listened to the podcast, bet you’re going to do it now, huh? 🙂 ) The belch was definitely an adult – it was not one of the Bond Grrls who was attending with her baby. To me, it actually sounded like a man’s belch.
So it was one thing, or the other. Either it was one of the Bond Grrls letting out a ripper of a belch, or one of the Bond Grrls who was on the call had her “significant other” come and belch literally in her face while she was on the call. If the first, that’s fairly easy to correct – it’s a disgusting sound, it’s unnecessary, and it’s definitely not Bond Grrl to belch like a toad on overdrive. If it was a “James” making this sound, it is either one of two things: (a) a power play, or (b) an “endearment.” In either case, the Bond Grrl has given some sort of signal in her life that this is “OK.”
We do train our men – we all know that. If we say “Oh honey that’s disgusting! (Tee hee hee)”, we are actually signalling that we are OK being treated like that. If we get angry, again, we have allowed our James to see that something “pushes our buttons,” and so he can use it as a power play against us. Here a way to handle this.
Show no reaction at the time. (This is critical – remember, he’s trying to get you off your game.) Then, after the call, sit down very seriously and say, “James, are you really someone who belches in his woman’s ear? Is that the real you? Can you please help me to understand what you were thinking when you did that?” Then just be quiet.
He’s going to have to say whatever he “thought” – and you need to stay non-reactive. If he says “oh, I thought it was really funny,” don’t just counter with a huffy “Well I sure don’t!” Try instead “To me, it’s an inappropriate way to express yourself. Just like telling an incredibly prejudiced joke, that belch reflects upon you. Is that what you want to be remembered for?” or perhaps “When you belch in my ear when I am on an accountability call, it makes me feel disrespected. I feel embarrassed because the other women on the call can hear this. I would rather that belching is not part of our relationship repertoire.” Just do NOT go the direction of “When you belched in my ear, you disrespected me.” Because he will say “No I didn’t,” and you’re in a fight. Always stick to how YOU feel. Do NOT get into “his body” or “his head.” You can ask what he was thinking when he did it, or what that signified to him, but when it comes to your reaction, ground it in your own feelings or you’re setting yourself for an “I did not,” “You did too” type fight.
Whoever is the Grrl that had this happen to her has allowed this in her life. No one here is a Victim. How you are treated is a manifestation of how you have shown that you want to be treated. ‘Nuff said.
As for the call in general, it brought up some private issues that a few of the Bond Grrls wanted to work through with me on email, as their Coach. As you can see, we do not have that many Comments thusfar – those who had immediate issues decided to keep them private between coach/Bond Grrl (which I have respected, of course), and others were too crazed in their lives/schedules to learn how to Comment/post. The best part about fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training is that you show up however works best for you – so if there’s just not enough time to work the Curriculum, or something big interrupts your call-in time, then you can always “catch up” through the Weekly Updates and Recordings.
If you have any questions, e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.
Click below to download the Weekly Update document. It is in PDF format, so you may need to obtain the Adobe Reader if you do not have it on your computer already (it is free on www.Adobe.com).
E-Book PDF: Open in New Window | Download (0.0KB)
Subscribe: RSS
I was asked by KOMO Seattle, a TV program that is trying to decide whether to have me as a guest, to compile the “Top 10 Tips” for a fempowered lifestyle. What do you think?
The overall theme of my book and coaching practice = live your best, most passionate life. So these are the Top 10 Tips that came to me:
1. Clean House. Declutter your life of belongings, friends, commitments, and the like that do not feed your passion and fempower your Inner Bond Girl. (Empty your glass of beer to get champagne in there!)
2. Donate. Support fellow Bond Girls in your community by allowing the items you have freed from your life to reach their “next best use” with others. (Pour your beer into another grrl’s glass with water in it!)
3. Be Congruent. Coax Your Inner Bond Girl out by matching what you wear and the way you walk, talk, laugh and listen with who you are becoming.
4. Be Present in your Luscious Body, Now. Accept, love and nurture her as she is now, and explore her fempowered nature through sensual dancing, pole dancing, or the like.
5. Be Ready. Take advantage of every adventure and opportunity that comes your way, and structure your life to facilitate it. Learn to travel light and get out of Dodge in minutes.
6. Block out non-negotiable You Time. Give yourself a minimum of 10 minutes/day to dream and move that passion forward. Join a fempowerment group to move your life to the next level.
7. Be Adventurous. Do something you’re not good at, and stretch your horizons and your sense of humor.
8. Go Lean & Green. Fempowered women are not credit card-wielding, debt-accumulating consumers; they save and invest their $
9. Flex your Femininity. Be The Girl in your personal relationship, and take the lead in nurturing it – sex included
10. Be Self-Sufficient & Appreciative. All Bond Girls run their own businesses, live in the tropical paradises that Bond drops into as a government employee on an expense account, and take care of themselves BUT, they also know that men feel good taking care of them and are sensitive to it and appreciative. (Let him open the door, or the jar, when he offers.)
What would you add? Change? Let me know!
This Coffee Chat podcast is with Minna Yoo, CEO and Founder of LoveBottle.Net. LoveBottle.net sells reusable glass water bottles with single-hand-opening pop tops that you can write on. The idea is based on the studies of Masaru Emoto (which you can find at www.hado.net), that show that whatever you write on a glass can actually effect the water crystals inside of the glass. So Love Bottles change your water with the energy of the words that you write on them. And when you consider that 70% of your body is water, you get to infuse that energy into your own being. (NOTE: I don’t get any “kickbacks” from any of these interviews—these really are my experts, and I want to share them with you… no strings attached!) Here is MY Love Bottle, the “Rocker” Black and Pink Star model (ain’t she sweet?):
I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.
If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.
Click the red button below to listen.
[display_podcast}
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 28:09 — 25.9MB)
Subscribe: RSS
This is the 2nd of a 3-part vodcast series done with Mr. Martini (BehindTheBarShow.com). The first was in celebration of the Kentucky Derby – we made a mint julep and discussed Da Horses.
In this vodcast, we take the bourbon from the julep and create an Old Fashioned. Then, we discuss how to have a Signature Cocktail without being branded High Maintenance, plus some Old Fashioned Virtues… such as manners, etiquette, language, and listening.
In particular, we discuss how you Bond Girls can understand how men communicate, and to embody this secret weapon to be even More Enticing than you already are!
Let me know what you think – either give me a ring on my Listener Feedback line 206.350.3537, leave a Comment here, or email to sandy[at]beabondgirl[dot]com.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (48.5MB)
Subscribe: RSS
I have received many emails and queries from Bond-Girls-To-Be regarding what fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training “is like.” This podcast is a recording of the first meeting of a new Thursday Night group. These Grrls have agreed to have their first two meetings taped and made public, to instruct those of you who are curious about the process.
Each of these women completed a Fast Start document that discussed her life, the energy she is putting towards her goals (or towards things that she ranks as actually unimportant)… it covers financial issues, relationship issues… the works. She filled it out as completely or as quickly as she found time for. Nothing is ever mandatory. Each woman also completed two items of Curricula. The first discussed how to turn Adversity to Opportunity; the second deals with changing languaging skills by uncovering “Psycho-Euphoric and Psycho-Phobic” words used in your business or your daily life.
Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.
For the next two weeks, I will be posting here the information that I would normally have in a private, password-encoded file for the group. I have also asked them to post Comments here instead of sharing their process in a private forum, so that any readers who are interested can see what a typical first two weeks entails.
The first meeting of a group is always a little different than the subsequent ones. Each meeting uses a breathing exercise as an opener, then usually discusses the Curriculum for the week, then moves on to the Mastermind sessions for 1-2 of the participants. As the ‘homework’ behind the first meeting includes not only the Fast Start documentation but also 2 items of Curricula, it is always a bit more general and less focussed than the subsequent meetings.
If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.
Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:21 — 12.9MB)
Subscribe: RSS
This week’s San Francisco S Factor Newsletter had a great article by Sheila Kelley (the Founder) called Meanderings. I will link it here, but they “go away” every week, so I will also cut and paste the bit I’m talking about right here:
I’m at this global think tank. I have no idea why they call it a think tank, it’s really just a big old lecture series. I just went to a panel on the changing face of the Muslim world. I’m obsessed with women who wear veils whether of their own volition or because of laws that make them or the culture they ascribe to or the religion they belong to. One of the panelists was this beautiful scarved woman named Dahlia. The revelation about Islamic nations was stunning and humbling and exhilarating. The details are too numerous to go into right here in the middle of the convention hall but suffice to say I sure would like to go to Saudi Arabia someday.After the panel I was standing in the room, full with about 90% men in business suits, when this vibrant woman walked up to me and told me that she was an S Factor student. Another young woman standing nearby heard “S Factor”, turned quickly and said, “I want to do that, how can I do that?” The S Factor student said, “Oh it’s incredible. It will change your life!” The young woman whispered, “I’ve heard, I cannot wait, I’m so excited to take it.” Now you have to get the image in your mind’s eye, there was almost nothing but a sea of men, just men, milling about everywhere. There was a total of maybe six women in the entire room, three of them talking about the secret world of S Factor when Dahlia, the Islamic panelist who had been talking to some guys next to us turned around and asked, “What are you talking about?” En masse the three of us turned slowly toward her and said almost in unison something to the effect of, “Oh my god…”. Then the S Factor student continued on with, “It’s the most amazing thing you could ever do for yourself as a woman…”. Seeing my chance, I dove in to explain S Factor as an “organic feminine movement class”. I didn’t bring up the words “striptease” or “poledancing” as I’ve seen them scare certain women off completely.As I move further down the road into my own “S”-ness I find that the striptease/poledancing definition just doesn’t do the “S” justice. It has all of those elements but it is so much more. When people query me now I speak of the “tease” and the “pole” in the same breathe as “natural and organic feminine movement” and “floor work”, “mat work”, and “standing and wall work”…all are elements of what comes wholesomely from a woman’s body moving into her own “S” shape.
Dahlia perked up as she listened intently and intelligently, nodding her head up and down. She was intrigued. She asked how she could take “such a class”. I invited her to visit one of our studios across the country and asked her where she lived…DC, here I come!
—————————————————–
The italics above are mine. I’ve been doing “The S” for a little over 2 years and yes – I even have a pole in my own home. It’s been very interesting to see how “Talk about The S” has become more empowerment, and less tease/strip, over these 2 years.
I love it, because I actually came to S Factor after one of my fEmpowerment teachers (Susan Bremer/Sensual Dance For Real Women) was un-chosen for the Oprah show in favor of Sheila Kelley, years and years ago. Susan was pretty bitter about it, and “refused” to watch any of the S Factor DVDs, etc. I, of course, wanted to see what the difference might be, and bought the DVDs (back then, there was no S Factor in San Francisco, it was mainly one L.A. studio).
“The S” is sooooooooo different than your usual “striptease thang.” It was even very different than Susan’s “Sensual Dance for Real Women” – though they both come at it from the same “mindset” … That you’re doing this for yourself and your “inner erotic creature” (or Inner Bond Grrl) not for anyone else.
The biggest difference between the S and other DVDs, books, and classes I have now attended or connected as a kinda pole dance/strip tease training collector? The S is a HARD workout! Holy cow! The first hour is just warmup, including abs, pushups, legs, stretches, arms, you name it. Then you learn some Pole Moves (which get harder as you progress – I’m a multiple Level 6 now). Last, you just let it go, and let your “inner erotic creature” take over to a song of your choice (at higher levels – at lower levels, you are taught a “routine” that you slowly, ever so slowly, let your Erotic Creature morph her way out of).
I just love that Sheila used the words “Natural and Organic Feminine Movement.” I would also say “fEmpowered Movement.”
It’s still fun at cocktail parties or business networking functions to find a way to drop in the fact that I have a pole in my house. It’s even funnier though to realize that a lot of the things that I do, workout-wise, with my life are to get me a smidge closer to being able to actually do a “Spinning Helicopter” or a “Climb and Flip” or a “Pole Cat.”
Pole dancing is part yoga, part Pilates, part balance, part strength, and all beauty. Check out the S Factor DVDs and if you live close enough – go to an Intro at one of their studios! If you write me a Comment, I can see if I can get you a comp’d Intro class ($40 value) – no promises, but I can try! You can click to go to their website to see locations.
Soli
A friend just sent this from the local elementary school — click here for the video of their recent Ladybug Release day. It’s only 3 minutes, but it’s a lot of fun. Her husband is the cinematographer/”interviewer.”
What’s your favorite part? I have to say mine is either the gal dressed up as the Ladybug (and her comeback to the “Tastes like Chicken” question) — or the little boy who raises his hand after the little girl gives the perfect answer in “Pick Me! Pick Me!” fashion, then thinks a little, and says “Um…what she said.” Ha!
Today’s entry in San Francisco IdealBite goes like this:
Then you know food can be art. And that’s what the founders of Slow Food International – a nonprofit devoted to bringing back whole foods that are cooked and savored slowly – are all about. If you’re into food prepared the old-fashioned way (and with sustainability in mind), add slow foods to your daily menu for a more vibrant…er, palate.
OK, you know, it’s the last one that gets me. I keep harping on posts like The Story of Stuff (long, but worth watching), but those are the things that astonish me.
When I posted my comment today on IdealBite, I was reminded of my Podcast 8 about Life-Affirming Rituals, including Saying Grace (start at 25:00 for this portion). As you may remember from that one, a student of mine wound up losing weight, literally just through the act of thanking the “folks” that had gotten the food to her. She used to eat in the car, standing up, junk-food-on-the run. When I suggested she and her husband start saying Grace over everything they ate, they originally balked because they “don’t do that God thing.” I explained that wasn’t what this was about — this was Giving Thanks to the farmers, truckers, plants, animals, etc. that got that food TO them. The actual physical energetic “beingness” that went into what they were putting in their mouth.
Once she started doing that, first, she found it ‘disrespectful’ to eat standing up. And in the car. She and her husband felt weird saying grace over take-out boxes, so they put the food on plates. Which made them stay at the table longer, and the Grace started them talking about something besides Their Hard Days. Ultimately they started cooking. And she started losing weight.
If you have my book, check out page 127 for a reminder about Mindfulness versus “Guilt-Ridden Scarfing” — and a discussion about “sensory awareness” when eating. It also talks about Living CAMP (check out the “eating a banana” link). If you don’t have my book, it’s not pretty, but I have a PDF copy of the page for you here as I originally sent it in to my publisher: guilty-pleasures-sidebar-page-127
How’s about starting a quickie Thankfulness Practice, today? You’re GOING TO EAT IT ANYWAY, my dear, so…why not?