Yeah, ok, so FINE. I “admitted it.”
When we were on the 2nd 1/2 of our trip in Peru (you can see the photos at www.facebook.com/fempowerment), we were travelling with a group. In the group was a guy who works out constantly. He couldn’t BELIEVE that there just wasn’t SOMETHING that I LOVED to do with my body. Now, granted, this was a yoga-related retreat. Unfortunately as H got very very sick, I wound up doing yoga 4 times – out of about the 16 I “should have.” (Hard to get up at 6:00 in the morning when you’ve been kept awake all night by coughing and worrying about your husband.)
So, I tried to ‘splain (Lucy) that when I was a kid, working out or being outside or “playing” was pretty low on my priority list. No one seems to believe this. I remember being at another “women’s retreat” in Mexico, where we were all supposed to “release our inner child” – and to be true to my “inner child,” when all the gals were leaping and throwing water on each other and giggling and playing on swings, I read a book. They thought I was odd, and not “getting into the spirit,” and all sorts of negative things.
But see, this IS what I was like as a kid. Once I reached college, there was a wonderful gal in my dorm. Her name was Susan Lundin. Everyone loved her, and she was a wonderful, genuine gal. She played beach volleyball, a sunny disposition, and I adored her. So I decided to “become” her.
That sounds a bit odd – but I had NO IDEA really how to “be” a person like that. So I did what Susan did. It was a turning point in my life. If you “know me now,” then you really know Sandy-as-Susan. Because Sandy-as-Sandy – the girl who would rather lie in bed and read books than interact, go outside, “play games” – was put to bed my freshman year at UCSD.
But she’s still in there. Here I am, quite SERIOUSLY overweight for me. I’m nearly 180. That’s a huge freak-out, because my “comfortable weight” is 145. That sounds like nothing when you know how tall I am – but I am VERY “slight” of build. My wrist isn’t even 4″ around (that’s how they “tell”). And I have really packed the pounds on, let me tell you – it’s definitely not “water weight.”
So, I’m on the Beach Body plan (and have signed up to be a coach – heck, I need one, why not BE one)? I got out this morning to walk the dog…and YES, I really DO like to walk the dog in the morning. Not one of these ‘fast walks’ like H does when we walk – where I’m out of breath and cross to be outside. No, a dog-sniffing-the-flowers saunter for an hour. OK, so, fine, it’s not a “workout.” But see, that’s the problem here.
When I was a kid, I would do ANYTHING – and I mean ANY-THING – to get out of gym. I wound up getting very good at music, because IF you were very good at music in grade school you could ultimately play (and tour) with the grammar school/high school “band.” (If you can call recorders, handbells, etc. a “band” – hey, what can I say, this was the Dominicans.) I kissed up to teachers who I knew would have other things for me to do when, say, GYM was on. I’m lucky I learned to swim at all, frankly…and when I “had to” go to gym class, I was always picked last – because I didn’t have a lot of friends who would “call me over,” but also because people were so shocked to see me there, they weren’t “used to” me being on ANY team.
My stalking-of-Susan-Lundin changed all that. I actually took up fencing and karate as a freshman, because they were the only sports that someone like me (tall, left handed, coordinated but with NO history of gym) could even feel comfortable trying. Interestingly, I made Varsity my first year in fencing – and we even made it to the NCAA finals. I didn’t really like working out that much – though I did feel better not being out of breath – but heck, if that’s what Susan did, that’s what I was going to do, too.
So here I am, a girl-who-doesn’t-like-to-workout-and-who-used-to-have-a-roaring-metabolism, in a body 35 pounds too heavy. It feels weird. I’m upset that I can’t keep my mouth shut when ANYTHING I happen to like rolls around – a remnant from a voracious metabolism. My metabolism started slowing when I was in my 30s, but “back then” I was doing crazy things like marathons, triathlons (even training folks for triathlons)…HOW did I get my mind around doing that?? I really have no idea.
But here I am. I hate working out – and I know I “gotta.” But being a BeachBody Coach, I have read a number of the other Coaches’ bios, etc. – and they are all so RA RA RA we LOVE working out we are SO FIT come and JOIN us! And I just wanted to have a little, private rant here that NO, I am not like them. But I am a coach anyway. And I’m going to coach me, and if you want me to coach you (it’s free – www.BestLifestyleNow.com) I can do that. Maybe some of you are like me – lived a bit too much of the “good life,” KNOW that you need to get your groove on, but would really rather just read a book or, oh, have some more champagne :-) I would say I would be the coach for you, if so.
I’m gearing myself up to do a workout now – probably around noon. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.