Macros and Zone and…Divots (Oh my!)

Posted on by Sandy

Dr.-Sears-The-Zone-300x202Dr. Barry Sears’ The Zone.

Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past like 20 years, you’ve heard of Dr. Barry Sears’ The Zone eating plan. My husband and I actually quite successfully followed the prescriptions of this eating plan when it first was published, though we fell off the wagon because of the whole “calculate your blocks” thang.

What’s The Zone about?

In The Zone, you calculate “blocks” that are made up of macros. (If you don’t know what a macro is, scroll back a few blog posts or go HERE). There’s a good bit of math involved, but the idea is that you figure out how many “blocks” you should be eating in each meal in accordance with Dr. Sears’ plan, and then you stick to it. Each “block” is made up of a set amount of grams of each of the macronutrients (protein, carbs, fat). So if you’re having a “1 block meal” or a “3 block meal” you’re eating 1 (or 3) blocks (each) of protein, carbs, and fat.

It’s basically a set 40%-30%-30% thing at each meal – carbs-protein-fat – which is supposed to moderate your insulin response, and all sorts of other good stuff. (For a more detailed description, click HERE.)

How Do The Zone & Flexible Dieting Differ?

It’s quite likely that you would be eating a similar number of calories per day under either dietary road map.

However, in Flexible Dieting, Krissy Mae Cagney basically says “just get your macros when/ where/however you can” – and she doesn’t limit what you eat in the slightest. She also doesn’t have you “combine” foods.

So, for example, in discussing carbs, she basically says that “a carb is a carb” to your body. For example, she points out that if you eat a donut, your body is going to treat it as a super-fast acting carbohydrate (energy source) – which it would also do with something on the “high glycemic” scale like watermelon. But a “lower glycemic” carb – like say collard greens – is still a carb.
So, when it comes to carbs, a donut calorie = a watermelon calorie = a collard green calorie.

oreo
2 wafers = 1 Oreo. right?

Instead of matching up protein/fat/carbohydrate “blocks” lock-step in each meal, Flexible Dieting is, in a word, flexible. As she points out (and I tend to agree with this), if you are on any eating plan and you fall off the wagon (e.g., suddenly waking up to find an empty chip bag in your hands and crumbs in the corners of your mouth), it’s human nature to just throw in the towel and go look for those Oreos you stashed behind the gluten-free, lactose-free, sweetener-free, soy-free, humanely-harvested-in-the-moonlight-by-vegan-fairies unsalted beet crisps.

The Zone’s proportions are pre-calculated for you without any real room to personalize, unless you are a super advanced Zone-er. So the Flexible Dieting/macro method is a less rigid approach, while still basically going after the same result.

Looking good…inside and out.

KMC does, of course, point out that while your body will “look great on the outside” if you stay in your macros (even if the carbs are all made up of Oreos), you’re not going to “look so great on the inside” – because there are carbs with way more “nutritional value” than what are otherwise generally thought of as “bad” carbs.

The Zone has huge lists of which protein/carbs/fats are “better” and which are “worse” – and (ahem) things like Oreos or Twinkies (do they still make Twinkies?) aren’t even on their list.

To KMC, a calorie of protein is a calorie of protein, a calorie of fat is a calorie of fat, and a calorie of carbohydrate is a calorie of carbohydrate.

In my own personal experience, I have found that “restrictive diets” like most everything but Flexible Dieting wind up with me on a bender. Then I sort of run out of gas (read: get too embarrassed to log what I ate), and stall out.

lasagneAs you know from my previous posts, I actually do eat “clean” (as the parlance goes), with a few notable exceptions (champagne being one of them). So I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a “standard American” trying to go on some sort of eating regime. The delta (or “V”) between what you “ate before” and what you “are allowed to eat on the [non-Flexible Dieting] plan” is so great, it’s gotta act like a giant slingshot. You try and try and try and then when you see what you used to love (but which is now not allowed), *SPROING!*

That delta catapults you into an entire casserole pan of lasagne.

Which you’re too embarrassed to log.

And you stall out and head for the Oreos.

So, in sum,

Both The Zone and Flexible Dieting talk about figuring out a certain number of “macros” (grams of protein, fat, and carbohydrate) that you should be eating each day. In that way they are similar. However, Flexible Dieting lets you eat whatever you want, and doesn’t “combine” foods in any particular way.

As such, I’d suggest that if you’re thinking about “doing The Zone,” maybe you should actually start with Flexible Dieting. It will get you started with calculating your macros, looking at what you eat, etc. It will change the way that you’re eating now, no doubt about it. But it also will work with you, and what you eat now. After you get in the swing of Flexible Dieting, if you want to be more scientific about it with respect to things like insulin response, glycemic index, etc., then give The Zone a try.

Um, didn’t you say something about “divots”?

If you read this far, this is a little treat for you 😉

Yesterday when I got up, I texted my Sculpt Buddy Claire that I could actually see my triceps. Now, I know there is a very fine line between “swole” and “swollen” (smile) – but that was a total first for me. Since most of my life I’ve either been a couch potato or an endurance-type athlete, the idea of a hunky upper body was never something I even entertained..

wecanOn the final day of our Sculpt last week (day before yesterday), we had to do like 400 bejillion tricep-related exercises. (Well, that might be a little exaggerated. But only a little.) I couldn’t put my seatbelt on – Claire was considering carrying her backpack on the front of her body, ‘cos she couldn’t reach back into the straps.

Last night, my husband and I were watching something on Netflix, and he looked over at me, then looked over at me. All concerned, he poked me in the arm (okay, OWWWW) and said (cue Austrian accent): “Honey! You have a divot in your arm!”

I almost bust a gut laughing. Well, I would have, had I been able to laugh, but my stomach muscles hurt too much. So I snorted. A lot.

You’re welcome…

…for that little smile to add to your day!

Any other questions on this topic?

 

 

 

 

Mo’ Macros… Mo’ Macros…

Posted on by Sandy

Ooooookay, you’ve asked some questions about what I wrote in my Krissy Mae Cagney/Flexible Dieting blog post, which I think I better clarify, because those of you asking the questions actually dutifully bought the Flexible Dieting book, and are still confused.

hmmm which multiplier?
hmmm which multiplier?

(I also have an “oopsie” confession to make, after reading a third KMC book – one of those “D’oh!” moments.)

I figured out my
maintenance number…
now what?

OK so here’s sort of the basics. From the Macro Cheat Sheet, you get your calories to maintain. There are 4 ways to figure that number, and also the whole “multiplier thing” – but I went into that before.

Once you have your calories, you figure out your protein grams, then calories, per day, to maintain. It’s easy and again – as an author, I never ever want to “spoiler-ize” someone else’s book by giving away things… if you have the book, you should know how to do this.

…but what about the fat v. carbs thang?

Here’s the deal and where folks have been sending me “scratching my head/can’t figure this out” emails.

The “rest of your calories” (after you subtract the protein ones) will be split between carb calories and fat calories. How they are split depends – ta da! – on you, personally.

1.14blogMy “partner in crime” in all this, Claire from Girls Gone WOD Podcast, gets more bang for the buck energy-wise from fat, so she has a higher fat percentage than carb percentage – by a good amount. I mean, we’re talking like her fat is 10-20% higher than her carbs (from my memory).

What the Flexible Dieting book recommends is if you haven’t got a CLUE where to start, to just match your carb grams to your protein grams. This will also mean that your carb calories equal your protein calories – because fat has a higher gram to calorie ratio (9 cals/gram), but carb and protein’s are the same (4 cals/gram). After you figure out your protein and carb grams, the rest will be fat.

Meaning, you take your total calories, subtract the sum of your protein and carb calories, which gives you your fat calories . . . divide that by 9, you get your fat grams.

It winds up being around 40%-40%-20% or so.

Unless, like I said, you already know you want your fat percentage to be higher – then you tweak your carb number to get “more fat” out of your allotment.

Then you need to stick on this for 2 weeks, logging what you’re eating in MyFitnessPal.com, and if you are blowing either your carb or fat number out of the water, tweak accordingly, so it matches what you’re more likely to be eating.

If you’re not eating enough protein, eat more. If you’re eating too much, eat less. (Don’t tinker with that number.) BTW, if you eat too much protein, here’s a little shocker . . . your body will store it as fat. Protein isn’t some magic substance where the calories disappear into the ether (or your poop) if you are overeating what your body needs. It either gets used to replenish your amino acid stores, or used for energy (like carbs are) or stored in your adipose (fat layer). Thanks for asking. And now after that commercial break…

But, I don’t wanna weigh my food…

Yeah, me either. So here’s the deal. If you use MyFitnessPal, they have just about every single food you can think of already listed. In reality, you should weigh your food, because density is different, blah blah. But you can also use the Dr. Oz-ish “make sure your protein amount is about the size of your palm/a deck of cards,” and then log what is already in the MFP database.

scaleI know that will make Krissy Mae Cagney (and my buddy Claire) want to hit me with their food scales, but look: If it’s do it or not, and your gating item is that you “despise the idea” of weighing your food, then do it, and use your eyeballs and their database, and get going. It’s my opinion that when you actually start doing this, you’re going to get curious, and borrow a food scale, or start looking at the ounces on the package of steak you bought, or some such thing, and start moving toward more “real life” logging. But if you’re a scale despiser, just do this part.

MyFitnessPal.

I signed up to MyFitnessPal a LONG LONG time ago – when I had a personal trainer for the Ironman. Has to have been like 2010. He pointed me to it, and wanted me to log my food, so he could see where I was with my diet. He also was a big proponent of “meal timing,” and so my personalized MyFitnessPal logging diary actually doesn’t say “Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Snacks” but “6:00 a.m. – 9:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 12:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m., 3:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m., and 6:00 p.m. on.”

mfpThis was instructive to me, because I came to realize (and am re-realizing) that if I don’t get something to eat in one of those zones – usually, for me, it’s the 3-6 zone – I am ravenous at dinner and eat everything in sight. Twice.

My doctor had me go back to logging a while back, too, when we did my hormone tests and they were so messed up.

So I have a track record with MyFitnessPal.

meals…bar codes…and recipes.

The thing is – MFP changed. Or, at least, the app has changed. (Maybe this all is old news on the non-app/browser version of MFP, but I always use the app.)

It used to be pretty straightforward – you logged your food from their database, or you could group together foods into a “meal” if you eat a certain set of things often. So, for example, I have a “meal” made of what I eat for breakfast plus my protein recovery drink after working out, so I can click on it and it “magically” logs that in my 6:00 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. slot (because I have the same breakfast before going to work out at 7:00 a.m., and the same protein/recovery drink when I finish at about 8:45 a.m.)

This was good – but the new additions are great.

barcodeNow, you can scan the bar code on a food – and it will suck in the calories, etc. from the nutrition label. If something wasn’t in their database before, you had to log all this in manually, and it put that food into a portion of the database called “My Foods.” You could mark that as private, but it defaulted to adding what you entered to their database. (A smart move as that means users are adding to the database and MFP doesn’t pay them anything for it.) Back in the day, if you wanted a certain food to really show up “legit” in their database (versus as “user entered/unverified”), you had to send them a URL that showed the food label from the actual website of that food’s producer, and they’d vet it out. Now, if you scan the bar code, it adds it to their database automatically. Again, smart of them since this means users are adding to their database without MFP having to pay for all this information.

But the best thing is their ‘recipe’ feature.

eggUsing this, you can just type in a recipe.

As an example, I typed in my egg muffin recipe.

12 medium organic eggs…6 strips uncured bacon…1 red bell pepper… 2 shallots…1/2 cup parsley… cup of spinach…1 TB seasoning.

Then, you can click on a button, and it goes out to its database and searches for the ingredients. If it finds them, you just say how many servings your recipe makes, and you’re done. So far, the only thing that it hasn’t found is a spice mix that I use – but it had Trader Joe’s “21 spice salute” which is basically like the one that I use, so I just chose that.

Since I make 12 egg muffins at a pop, I said that the recipe made 12 servings, and it automatically gives me the calories, grams, etc. for each muffin.

(Cool, eh?) I’ve now done this for my meatloaf recipe, a green smoothie I make the same every time, etc. This feature, plus the bar code scanner, is making me like MFP a heck of a lot more.

So now for my confession…

Well, this isn’t so much a confession as a “D’oh!”

I was reading Krissy Mae Cagney’s This Is Not A Cookbook (again, available at this website, and again, no, I am not getting a kickback) and she talks quite a bit about MyFitnessPal.

This is where I discovered I was “doing things wrong.”

As you know from my previous blog post, I decided on 1525 calories per day, for various reasons. But the thing is, on MyFitnessPal, you log your Food, but you also log your Exercise. As I pointed out previously, it will even “go get” your calories off of a BodyBugg or Fitbit, and then “automatically” subtract that number from your Food.

sigh.

KMC pointed out in the book that I just read (this morning) that you’re not supposed to “spot yourself” the Exercise calories. You’re just supposed to eat the calorie number that you figured out, in your Food, period. No “gimmies” for Exercise.

oops.

Now, when I started on this odyssey this Monday, I told myself I would do the KMC Sexy Sculpt workout, and log in MyFitnessPal, but I wasn’t going to go crazy about the latter until 2 weeks from Monday. Meaning – I would log what I was eating, but from their database (no weighing . .  .  kinda allergic to weighing . . .), and I would check to see “how close” I was getting to the macro percentages that I worked out on the Macro Cheat Sheet. But I’d use the first two weeks to just get reacclimated to logging on MFP.

With my Exercise, I was (ahem) “right around” the 1545 calorie level. I was “right around” my macro percentages, too.

Note what I said.

With my Exercise.

If I look at the numbers without the Exercise subtracted out, I’m over by a lot. (Like around 400 calories, which doesn’t sound like a lot until you realize that 400/1525 is pretty significant.)

Hmmmmm.

So now I’m doing a re-think. With the Exercise subtracted out, I was right around the right number, as I said. “Right around” being maybe 100 calories over. And I really am logging everything – including (hey, it was a tough week…) the wine. (And, if Claire is reading this, including the first glass of wine (smile).)

And here’qques where I’d love a little input:

What should I do next week? (just next week – after that, I might stay with what I’m doing that week, or tighten it up, as that will be the end of my self-imposed “two week trial” period of easing back into logging.)

Should I stay on my plan of doing what I was doing for 2 weeks (which would have me using their database and my guesstimations for the food, plus subtracting out the exercise)?

Should I stay on my plan re. the Food, but turn off the “subtracting the exercise” part?

The former is currently bad enough – the latter might make me throw in the logging towel altogether or it might help me get my act together even more.

Help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best salty/sweet snack EVER.

Posted on by Sandy

strongOh for goodness’ sake. This is my favorite salty/sweet snack (du jour)….

Have you tried KIND bar’s “Strong and KIND” Honey Smoked BBQ bar?

Nom Nom Nom.

I thought this was going to be the weirdest experience EVER. (They have these at Trader Joe’s, so I picked one up in my “forage when I’m starving” grocery mode. Bad me.) It sort of tastes like . . . Heaven (LOL) – no, seriously – it has a sort of “bacon-y” flavor, crunch like almonds, plus sweet.

Nom Nom Nom.

If you have a Trader Joe’s near you, hopefully they have them there. If not, I’ll put a link below, just in case you’re on Amazon or have an Amazon order coming and want to add some.

Kind Bar – Strong and Kind Almond Protein Bar Honey Smoked BBQ – 1.6 oz. (45 g) Supplement Facts Serving Size: 1 Bar (45 g) Servings Per Container: 1 Amount Per Serving % Daily Value* Calories 230 Calories from Fat 140 Total Fat 16 g 25% Saturated Fat 1.5 g 8% Trans Fat 0 g Cholesterol 0 mg 0% Sodium 120 mg 5% Potassium 220 mg 6% Total Carbohydrate 15 g 5% Dietary Fiber 3 g 12% Sugars 6 g Protein 10g

Key Product Features (stole this off Amazon):
  • 10g of soy and whey-free protein and all 9 essential amino acids
  • ingredients you can see & pronounce
  • Gluten Free
  • Non GMO
  • Low Sodium
  • No MSG

Krissy Mae Cagney Sexy Sculpt: Week One, Check!

Posted on by Sandy

Just finished my first week of the Krissy Mae Cagney Sexy Sculpt program, as accented by “Bo-gramming.”

You, yes you, are a bad *ss.

The program really is pointing up my weaknesses, which I like. It’s also – through feedback from my “Sculpt Buddy” Claire from Girls Gone WOD Podcast – pointing out where I actually am a bad *ss.

sweat angel. well, um, maybe sweat "condor" best describes it.
sweat angel. well, um, maybe sweat “condor” best describes it.

Here’s a funny thing – it just took me like 5 minutes to actually write the end of the paragraph above, though it’s really what I wanted to write. I wrote about this a couple of blog posts ago, but I have a hang up with just saying “Yes, I am a bad *ss.”

Both because I’m a bit older and I was taught to be more “self-effacing” (you know, “don’t brag, it’s not ladylike”), but also because I have to judge myself against myself – not against everyone else in the gym, where I am far and away lifting/pushing/pulling less than anyone else. Judged against myself, and how I feel, yeah baby, I’M A BAD *SS! 😉

(So there.)

iTraining buddies rock…

Claire (bottom) Joy (middle) me (top)
Claire (bottom) Joy (middle) me (top)

I remember when I was training for the Ironman, I wound up with an “i-buddy” – Missy- who found my blog, and was training for the Ironman alone so started “training with me.” The coolest part was that we actually met at the race (HERE is a link to that post). I was training using the Team In Training/Leukemia Society’s training program – so I had a bunch of “real life” folks to train with – but she (after we asked LLS if it would be okay) used the same program, but trained by herself. She was a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling her kids, and she still made a hefty donation to my TNT page, in “thanks” for the training.

As I said, Claire and I are doing this together, and it makes it imminently more do-able. (They talked about it on the podcast this past week – if you don’t know their podcast it’s fun, you should check it out.) Claire is a Level-1 trainer and all around bad *ss her own damned self – we actually met when I was recently in Denver. So I was a little … well, not scared, but like … worried? … “hopeful that it would not be this way?” … that the fact that she’s way more of a killer Crossfitter than me would depress me. Far from it – it’s been a blast.

no this is not me. but if you think it is, IT'S ME IT'S TOTALLY ME.
no this is not me. but if you think it is, IT’S ME IT’S TOTALLY ME.

The training god(desses) smiled down on me…

OK so one thing that I can totally do are deadlifts. As Claire pointed out in their podcast though, since I’m 6’2″ tall, I basically have to lift the damned bar about three feet higher than she does.

The funniest part though is that our gym is all kg weights, whereas hers is pounds. She did the first workout first, and sent me her numbers…and I am all thinking “OMG. She really IS a bad ass. I can’t even APPROACH that weight!”

Yeah, shut up, you figured it out . . . she was writing to me in pounds, which are 1 for every 2.2 kg. So when she said she had done the movement with “70” I’m thinking 70kg – which is like 150 lbs.

That spurred the crap out of me to really reach for as good as I could get. I am not particularly competitive, and I didn’t feel like I was “competing” with Claire. What I felt like was that we were…like on the “same team” in a competition if that makes sense. I haven’t felt that in fact since I was on the Varsity Fencing team at Cal – my first year, we had an amazing team and went to the NCAAs – I was a freshman, the other women were seniors – and it was my first experience with that “Go Team” thing in what is basically a “solo” sport. It was exhilarating, and that’s how I’m feeling at the end of this first week “doing the Sculpt” with Claire.

Ooops, digression (how unusual). ANYWAY, so Claire’s numbers the first day really had me “kicking it up a notch.” But the COOLEST thing was that I worked out before she did the next day, and my deadlift is pretty strong (something like 77 kg?) Well, that spurred HER on – and she did a 1 rep max advance by FIFTEEN POUNDS. That’s just the awesomest EVER. Even awesomer ( 😉 pretend I’m 20 not 50 when I say that) was the fact she told me that my numbers pushed her to put up some numbers.

my pull up band pile. looks like gay pride spaghetti.
my pull up band pile. looks like gay pride spaghetti.

Anyway – all that said, I’m typing this with the computer on my lap, in bed, in my stinky Crossfit clothes, because I can barely walk (in a good way…) Today was an Upper Pull day, made up of bent over rows, kettlebell cleans (nearly knocked myself out learning how to do that – d’oh!), and then some other things, capping off with 8 rounds of 10 pull ups, 10 burpees, and 20 situps. (That last was added from the Bogramming.) When folks start drifting in for the 9:00 a.m. class now (I start at 7:15) I’m usually about 1/2 way into that last set – and I apparently have quite the evil face, because even the “competition girls” have commented on it. Today I left a gay pride rainbow of bands under the pull up bar after I was done, but I felt quite …. BAD ASS.

So you have a great weekend, and celebrate your bad ass self, ya’hear???

 

Sexy Sculpt & Flexible Eating (Krissy Mae Cagney)

Posted on by Sandy

Well, first of all, if you don’t know who Krissy Mae Cagney is, watch this. (Even if you DO know… watch this 😉 )

youtube placeholder image

I “discovered” Krissy Mae Cagney via her interview on Girls Gone WOD Podcast. Then, Claire of GGW posted that KMC’s books were half off for Black Friday, so I picked up her book “Flexible Dieting” and her 12-week training program, “Sexy Sculpt.”

Claire and I actually decided that we’d give Sexy Sculpt a try. We texted on Sunday about it, and started Monday (December 1st). Claire had “done the math,” and starting now basically means that we will be done just about when the Crossfit Open starts. We also realized how much better it always is to do a program with someone else – even though Claire’s in Denver and I’m in the San Francisco area, just having someone to “check in with” makes it all a lot easier to stick with.

hmmm which multiplier?
hmmm which multiplier?

I started with the Flexible Dieting book, and figured out my “macros” through that. This book definitely nails the whole “macro” thing and if you are interested at all in following a macro or “Zone”-type eating program, I would strongly recommend you pick this up. Because I am over 50, have metabolic damage, and have a body fat percentage of 31% even after everything I have done to budge it, I chose a multiplier of 11.1; however, after reading Sexy Sculpt, I re-calculated my multiplier to 12.

Whatsa Macro?

You really need to get the “Flexible Dieting” book, but in very general terms, “macros” stand for “macronutrients” (e.g., protein, fat, carbs). You need to take in a certain number of grams of each macronutrient daily to just survive – if you’re working out, or want to lose or gain weight, you need to know your “base” number, then tweak from there.

Whatsa Multiplier?

I mentioned you really gotta get the book, right? Once you have your weight and your body fat percentage, you use a “calorie multiplier” to figure out the amount of each macro you need daily. the multipliers run from 11 (if you are older, have metabolic damage, don’t really exercise, or have body fat over 29%) through 14 (if you’re super active, exercise all the time, have a fast metabolism, are young, or have a low body fat percentage).

What you multiply by the multiplier is the first number you have to choose. You can:
1. Just multiply it by your current weight, and get a number for your “maintenance calories.”
2. If you know your body fat percentage, you can subtract that percentage of your current weight, leaving your “lean body mass,” and multiply the multiplier by that to get the maintenance calories needed for that lean body mass.
3. If you have a goal weight, you can use that, to give you the calories that you will need at that weight, to maintain that weight. And, lastly,
4. If you have a goal weight and a goal body fat percentage, you can do that math, giving you the calories that you will need to maintain your lean body mass at your goal weight and body fat percentage.

Woman pinching fat from her waistAs I have discussed before, I’m not at my slimmest currently. My hormones are also all messed up, which my doctor ascribes to my doing a boatload of endurance events back to back for a year. (I blogged about this in my last post.)

My maintenance calories – using 11 as my multiplier given all of the “reasons to use 11” were:
1. 1958
2. 1351
3. 1705
4. 1398

After figuring this all out, I read the Sexy Sculpt book – in which KMC states there is “no way” that you should be doing this program on a multiplier that’s less than 12-ish. I figured that I’m doing the program, but I also have all the other “11 issues,” so I re-did my maintenance calories based on using a 12 multiplier, which gave me:
1. 2136
2. 1476
3. 1860
4. 1525

I decided to use the 1525 calories as my marker for figuring out my macros. (That is my goal weight times my goal fat percentage.) Now, from here, you figure out how many grams/calories of protein, fat, and carbohydrates you need a day. (Go get the book…HERE is the link again. You’re welcome.) So I did that, and re-introduced myself to MyFitnessPal.com. I really hate weighing and measuring and logging, but what the Heck, I’m doing it with the workouts, might as well just suck it up. I also found, then recharged, my BodyBugg. Now, many of you probably use FitBits – which I find a little odd, frankly. BodyBugg keeps track of your heartrate, perceived exertion, steps, sleep/sleep quality, etc. FitBit does…steps. Oh okay and logs your sleep time, if you remember to click it twice and turn around and click your heels or whatever you do. Yes, FitBit is nicer looking, but I’ll take all the information over a fancy bracelet any day. So I re-upped my BodyMedia account, linked my BodyBugg to MyFitnessPal.com, and I was ready.

Sexy Bo-grammed Sculpt
Sexy Bo-grammed Sculpt

As I think I mentioned in the previous post, I’m currently having our programming director, Coach Bo, program WODs for me specially, that take out the MetCon portion, but still “track” the programming for the day. (Yes, I know I wrote about this in the last blog because I explained what a MetCon was.) So I got myself all industrious, and “matched up” the WODs from the “Bo-gramming” to the KMC WODs. Basically what that entails is just adding the KMC Sexy Sculpt WODs to the Bo-gramming, because the former is a lot more involved than the latter.

Um, yeah, so, the photo here is what that looks like. It’s the WODs from the Sexy Sculpt (HERE is the link to the book again! Oh and NO I do not get paid anything or get anything free for recommending it), with the Bogramming added, plus the pre-stretching and post-mobility added from my fascia guy and my mobility guy. (Claire asked if that stain was blood. Naw, just tears. Big honkin’ tears.)

So far, it’s actually been a blast to do the workouts “with” Claire. We both started with Day One/Lower Body (barbell back squat, barbell glute bridges, etc.) and then, as is allowed in the program, moved today to Day Four/Lower Body (deadlift, good mornings, calf raises, etc.) I did this because it matched my Bogramming better – though our legs are so sore we are having “functional fitness issues” in things like, oh, getting up from the toilet (laugh – TMI!). Tomorrow we’re doing Upper Pull (bentover row, lat pulldowns, cleans, etc.) and then Friday we’ll do Upper Push (overhead strict press, bench press, push ups, etc.)

The Sexy Sculpt program is 4 days, though you get “extra credit” for doing other things on the other days. I’m doing just “Bo-gramming” on one day (as I do Crossfit 5 days), and then hopefully hiking or something like that one other day.

So far so good.

Wanna Join?

Claire and I are just 2 workouts into the Sexy Sculpt program – if you’re looking for something to do to really attack your weight issues, body fat issues, strength issues, or what-ev-ah, why don’t you join us? Get the book, give it a read, and if you’re interested, leave me a Comment and maybe I will start up a Facebook group or some such.

I just wish it wasn’t called “Sexy Sculpt.” Beh. Claire and I are calling it “The Black Iron Workout” because that’s KMC’s gym and sounds less ’80s Jane Fonda.

Go get the books!

I’m baaa-aaack…and cryin’ at Crossfit again ;-)

Posted on by Sandy

crossfit kettlebell swingWhere have I been? Oh boy . . .

The super duper short answer is that I had my computer and purse stolen recently, plus my cell phone went haywire, and trying to replace and regroup has taken an inordinate amount of time and energy. I still am not totally over it – still haven’t found an adequate way, for example, to do emails the way I “want to” – but I’m getting there.

Losing 20+ years’ worth of email tags, flags, folders, etc. is like losing a part of your brain. Though I have “chronological” backup, I lost all my email folders and flags, because I didn’t set up the backup correctly. It’s not as gut-wrenching as losing things that are “irreplaceable” – like the chamsa from Israel or my USMC dog tags that were in my coin purse – but still miserable. Just the other day a client asked for the name of an expert I’d told her about a few months ago, and I went to get the name from my “expert folder” which is . . . gone. No way to remember the name, as it was snuggled in that folder for years, where I would pull it out on the random occasions I needed it. Harrumph.

But this post was to be about Crossfit.

About three weeks ago (more or less) I also was given the medical opinion that I should basically quit Crossfit. The short story (I know, I know, my stories are never short) is that doing the 5 marathons and triathlon in a year-ish totally messed up my hormones, and that the ‘metcon’ [METabolic CONditioning] portion of Crossfit wasn’t allowing that to heal. Hence the continued 30% body fat percentage (and dreaded, unbudge-able, “back fat”), draggy-ness even on a handful of meds and supplements, etc.

Woman pinching fat from her waistI parsed through the “Why” of quitting Crossfit with medical professionals, and what it came down to was that I could keep going, if I concentrated on the Strength portion, walking, and “some sprinting, but not right now.” This follows the basic prescription from books such as Younger Next Year and innumerable podcasts that I’ve blogged about. Just no metcons or long, endurance-type workouts.

So Coach Bo (our Programming Director) now does up a week-in-advance schedule for me. It basically takes out the metcon portion of whatever is programmed. As an example, I might be doing the same movements as the program, but not “for time,” or I might be “going heavy” where the program is to go less heavy and to sprint.

Since I now have to really concentrate on form because I’m trying to “go bigger” with lifts, I also had to change my workout time.

Why?

I’ve been going to the 9:00 a.m. WOD for over a year now. Recently, it’s gotten a lot more “social” – people talking, etc. There are also now a lot of people in the box, and with lots of people, one coach, three different programming tracks, etc., you wind up being coached more reactively (“No, don’t do that!”) than “proactively” (“Let me show you how to do that in the best way for you.”)

So I swapped out to the 7:15 a.m. WOD. It has, max, 4 other people besides me in it, and all are men concentrating on “getting’er done.” Some mornings, it’s just me, or me and one guy. So this allows me to get proactive, personal coaching. There’s no “share the bar, gossip or chat between sets, sass mouth, sandbag, don’t-squat-all-the-way-down-in-wall-balls-if-the-coach-isn’t-looking” vibe.

A big part of why I wanted a switch, too, is that I continued to be far and away the “worst one” in every activity. New women would join, and within a month or so, they’d be out-squatting, out-lifting, out-whatever-ing me. (And no, they were not 20 to my 50.) I’m not particularly competitive, but this sort of thing just grinds you down, especially when you feel you are trying so hard at everything.

Bar-facing burpees. Yes, I am so tired I'm resting my head on the PVC pipes I was jumping over.
Bar-facing burpees. Yes, I am so tired I’m resting my head on the PVC pipes I was jumping over.

This is what came out for me yesterday. There is a new coach at our box, Coach Chelsea. And yesterday, it was just the two of us in the WOD at 7:15. So, basically, I got a private.

Part of the WOD prescribed for me that day was “weighted walking lunges.” I have had stabilization/balance and pain issues with lunges for years now, so I have always done these either forward but holding on to a vertical with one hand, or as reverse lunges while standing in place. When I went to do that, Coach Chelsea said, basically, “Nope.”

Just the day before, I’d done a WOD with Coach Bo, who was enthusiastically surprised when I could do an “ass to grass” squat with my heels still on the floor. Oh sure, I have to push up with my1.7blog hands to get out of it, and I can’t just drop down into it, but when I first came to Crossfit, I couldn’t even squat down more than maybe about 5-6″ before getting “stuck.” It took me a year to get to the point where I could get my butt below my knee crease, and even then, it was with a box or wall ball under me. (I still do this for lifts that contain squats.)

Because I’m new to Coach Chelsea (and vice-versa), however, she doesn’t cut me any slack. She wants to “see” why I have to scale, and pushes me to do things where my constant, ever-present internal backtalk pushes back with “I can’t.”

I did this when she told me I had to do actual forward lunges – not with a weight, but I had to actually touch my back knee to the ground, and I had to travel doing it. When I said “I can’t,” she said, “I don’t believe you. Do it. Show me why you can’t.”

The first round was not the prettiest thing. But I did it. Then she stopped me and said, “You are always saying you ‘can’t’. You’re stuck in your own back story. It’s time to look forward from that, because you’re using it to get away with not progressing further. It’s a crutch.”

What did I want to say back? I wanted to say how far I had come. I wanted to say that she didn’t “know” how “bad I had been” and how “great” what I was doing was, comparatively. Heck, all the other coaches are amazed that I can lunge down while holding onto a vertical, why aren’t you? Why do you want me to do something I find not just scary, but super scary? What if I fail?

Why didn’t I say that? Because I knew she was right. So I teared up (which totally surprised her), and then we had a discussion about the issue (it being a private lesson and all).

The discussion brought up a memory of a friend of mine, who, to be crass, “thinks her sh*t doesn’t stink.” She objectively is not all that good at her job (we used to work together, so I know), at what she does in her personal life, etc. But she thinks she’s awesome. It’s a wonder for me to behold.

I admitted to Coach Chelsea that one of the main reasons that I didn’t try some things was not so much that I felt I would get hurt doing them. It was that I didn’t want to be embarrassed by trying super hard at something that wasn’t even a drop in the bucket for everyone else, and potentially failing. Also, I told her about the whole “being the worst in the gym” thing.

Raaaawrrrr
Raaaawrrrr

She didn’t disagree with me about that comment. But what she said was that I was looking at this from the wrong perspective. That sure, maybe I was the worst. But there were people who would love to have the will power to get off the couch and go to a gym to just ride the stationary bike and leaf through a magazine. Much less go five times a week to something as “bad ass” as Crossfit.

She also said that everyone in the gym felt the same way. In other words, if you were doing a move perfectly but without weight, you looked at the ones who did it with weight. If you did it with light weight, you looked at people doing it with more weight. If you were the top of the box, you competed, then realized that you were really just a big fish in a small pond.

That you want to use where the people that are better than you are to motivate you – and to use where you used to be to springboard from. (Which reminds me of my first BIG “Can’t” argument with Coach Chelsea – max box jumps. My max to that point was 15″ – I was stacking up plates to start at 13″ and “maybe get to” 17″. She made me go over to the gymnastics pit and practice and practice and practice. and “Shut up already with the ‘Can’t’!” By the end I did 24″. Still the “worst in the gym” – but way better than my previous best.)

And speaking of couch potatoes, I had, in fact, been one. That’s what had started the odyssey that ended with me completing the Ironman triathlon. I know that many people just want to run a half or a full marathon, and, gee, I did five in one year with a triathlon and a long distance swim thrown in. If someone marvels at that, I of course answer immediately that I’m a back-of-the-pack’er, and that I know that they can do it. But being a “back of the pack’er” doesn’t take away from the pile of finisher medals on my bureau, and I have to stress that in my mind, not the “back-ness.”

Coach Chelsea also said that she had had some of these issues herself, because she’s of larger stature. As she put it (when we were practicing rope climb drills), she had a “lot more to get up the rope” than the usual Crossfit woman. To progress, she had to not only compare herself only to herself, but also to constantly poke any “Can’t’s,” to see if they’re still true.

I hate realizing that my own mind is holding me back. Realizing that feeling I had gone “so far” from my beginning was making me sandbag to some extent. And, more importantly, that not wanting to “feel stupid” for trying a heavier weight that was still by far the lightest weight on the whiteboard – and failing at it – was causing me not to try that heavier weight at all. Also, that I was sort of depending upon the coaches who really had seen me from the beginning to tell me how great i was doing – when I could do better. Yuck.

Well, that’s enough from me. How about you?

  • Have you ever “not tried harder” because you felt you were “doing enough”? Or that even if you “did amazingly” you would still be last, so you don’t even want to put in the effort?

  • What are you sandbagging at?

  • What’s your self-talk like? Do you constantly “bad mouth” yourself to yourself, or do you think that your “stuff” doesn’t stink?

  • How do you handle defeats? Do you keep at it? Do you stay in the “safe” zone? Do you quit? Do you blame?

  • How does what people “think of you” affect you?

  • Where do you feel you could improve? If no one is pushing you, are you able to push yourself?

  • What do you aspire to? What inspires you? Or, on the flip side, what defeats you?

Amazing Race 25 – Episode One!

Posted on by Sandy
the best watch/compass combo I could find.

A watch with a compass. Who wudda thunk it?

The Amazing Race, Season 25 (wow!) started this week. And the team that came in far and away in first place was able to do so, because a team member had a watch with a compass on it. (SPOILER ALERT, don’t keep reading if you haven’t seen the episode yet!)

The Episode started with all the teams getting out in front of a “ring of fans” in New York City. The first clue was actually pretty fun – you had to know something about TAR history – where Season 1 started. As such, the teams had to ask the “fans” for the answer. I liked that a lot – gave the fans something to be proud of knowing. As it was a question about TAR-1, and I only started at about TAR-15 or so, I wouldn’t have known the answer either!

The final clue had the teams given a set of “coordinates” by “Blackbeard,” and they had to dig up a “treasure box” to finish. They were given a water compass (I think that’s what it’s called – see HERE for the video showing this part of the show) and a yard-long shovel to figure out their directions and paces.

The compass (as you can see from the video, if you clicked on it) says what is facing you. For example, if the ball says NORTH and you’re holding it in front of your face, then NORTH is the direction you’re facing. This is 180 degrees from what a “Regular” compass would show – as in, if you held up a regular compass and wanted to go North, then SOUTH would be “facing” you (with North on the “far side” of the compass).

I would totally have gotten this wrong, too. No doubt. It’s actually far easier to use (if you think about it) than a “regular” compass – because where you are going is right in your face. It’s just we are all programmed to think of it working the other way around!

HOWEVER, the he-dentist figured it out right away. As it looked like the sun was up around noon, that wasn’t helpful for figuring out East/West. HOWEVER, he had a COMPASS ON HIS WATCH. So he pointed himself in the direction the watch said, then looked at the ball. And figured it out immediately.

The other teams kept coming up to him to ask him how to do it. He found his treasure box quite quickly, and then was off – so the folks who actually got to talk to him wound up being able to find their boxes too (after some trial and error). The teams that did NOT talk to him – that got to the island after they’d left – didn’t really figure it out. Well – they did once the sun was setting (as in “rises in the East sets in the West” – though the “hot girls” that are always on TAR (blonde realtor girls), when asked, said “Um, rises in the West, sets in the East?” – um….why, ‘cos they’re from Florida??).

The three teams that were left wound up, after digging into the setting sun and working like dogs, just taking the 4 hour penalty together. This was like a couple seasons ago in Bali, when the 3 teams that couldn’t get the task done just all agreed to take the penalty. In this case, they all got close – in fact, it showed on the screen where each team was digging – and where the box was (usually within a yard to so of where they were).

One thing I didn’t really understand was how DEEP folks were digging. I would have walked over to the hole of the folks who got away quickest, to figure out how far down the boxes were (not very far at all). Once I knew that, if I didn’t find it where I thought it was, I would have started making little “tester holes” in the vicinity, not dug these grave-deep holes like a couple of the teams did!

Interestingly, the realtor girls – who are the ones who came up with the idea of “everyone” taking the 4 hour penalty – did it because they thought they would be able to beat the other 2 teams to the mat. As always, the first round is ALWAYS an elimination round.

The thing is, the girls had actually “stolen a grease pencil away” from the firefighter team (who I know they were SURE they would beat, because one of the guys is heavy-set), and the firefighter team was really sore about it. This had happened earlier in the day. So once they got off the island, all making this “pact” to take the 4 hour penalty, the “lighter” of the firefighter team got to a taxi van first. Then one of the realtor gals tried to get into it, too, and the heavier firefighter basically grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her out, said “Um, no.” The realtors wound up getting eliminated, and on the mat they were whinging about how the firefighters hadn’t “played fair,” etc. But in reality, they sort of had karma come back to bite them for “elbowing out” the firefighters earlier in the show!

This show (at the beginning) has a REALLY GOOD “intro” of the teams. I think that doing a TAR tape JUST like they introduced the teams as they came out of their cars in New York City would be awesome. It shows their hashtag, tells their story, shows a little bit about them. Granted you get 3 minutes in the submission tape – these were about a minute – but I think that it is THE WAY to present a team in the intro tape. Food for thought 😉

That said, am I losing weight? Getting stronger? Even GOING to Crossfit? Nope. Was in Colorado for holiday with Herbert, and we did get out and bike, do some hiking, etc. but we mainly ate and drank (surprise surprise!) I’m in Utah now, and plan to go to Crossfit here, but I don’t have a car. The closest Crossfit is CLOSE (less than a mile away), but no walking or jogging through the thunder 😉 I also had work to do today and tomorrow, but after that, time to climb back on the bandwagon! How many times have I said THAT!

Too many times! LOL.

Are you watching The Amazing Race?

Would you want to be ON The Amazing Race?

If so – what do you think would be important as a racer – besides a watch with a compass? 😉

Awesome Travel Pants for Tall Legs and Crossfit ‘Booty’

Posted on by Sandy
Columbia “Just Right” Omni-Shield trousers

As many of you know, the entire first chapter of my first book is dedicated to “clearing out” your life – and being ready for anything.

This past Labor Day, for me, was all about attacking the entropy that had overwhelmed parts of my life . . . which means culling through clothing, etc. ruthlessly.

I have been reading TravelFashionGirl.com for a while, and really like her website and suggestions. The biggest issue, however, is that she’s short, and doesn’t have much of a “booty.” So a lot of the clothing that she suggests just won’t work for 6’2″ booty-esque me.

I have two pair of the same “go to” black slacks in my wardrobe. The issue, however, with these slacks (like a lot of women’s clothing!) is that they have no pockets. As such, I’ve been trying to find a replacement that will not only work for a pair of work slacks, but also will work for Crossfit/hiking/etc.

Not that I would purposely go out of my way to wear a pair of slacks to Crossfit, mind you – but I’ve decided that this is how I am going to judge all new clothing purchases. (Why? Because, of course, I want them to work WHEN I am chosen for The Amazing Race. Naturally.)

Enter the first pair of pants I’m really excited about! They are pictured on the right – the Columbia “Just Right” straight leg pant. Not too tight and not too loose, these woven pants deliver beautiful balance: the perfect amount of fabric and stretch for a sleek, flattering shape and a comfortable fit that is equally ideal for daily wear as it is for all kinds of active endeavors – yes, I wore them to Crossfit on Thursday, and they performed like a champ!

They have UPF 50 sun protection, plus Columbia’s Omni-Shield stain and water repellency. They dry easily hung overnight; I have washed them (cold) and also dried them for a tiny bit in the dryer, and they held their size.

Although it’s tough to see in the picture, there is a “raised seam” on the front, which looks like a trouser crease. These pants are “stretchy” but not so much that you feel like you are wearing tights, and are super light weight as opposed to many “go to” travel pants, like jeans or khakis. They have a draw string on the inside, which is actually a nice feature as you can cinch in the waist a bit. They do not have tight straight legs – they are roomy enough for Crossfit quads and hammies without being “boot cut.” Ideal!

There is seaming on the back and I must tell you – they make my booty look amazing.

Although there are no pockets in front or back, they have a very roomy zip pocket on the side of one leg. This pocket holds a large-sized phone, keys, money clip, etc. (I tried it out). I think that the back shapes the booty so well due to the lack of back pockets – instead, it has “shaping seams.” The back is high, so no need to “pull your shirt down” as with some pants, if you bend over or squat down. Again – the drawstring actually really helps the fit, though it is hidden fully inside (the trousers have a single snap button – no belt loops).

They fit true to size, however, the “Regular” (there is no Tall) is 33″. I happen to have a 34″ inseam, and there isn’t a hem to take out on these pants. Worn low on the hip, they graze the top of my feet. I’m fine with that – but I wouldn’t wear them with a heel. Point of fact, my former “go to” trousers were about this length as well – it’s kinda hard to be over 6 feet, what can I tell you.

I did purchase another pair of pants that I plan to review: They have more standard pockets for a “hiking pant” but are also a breathable fabric that I think can work as a “work pant” too. I’ll let you know after they pass my “work then Crossfit” test 😉 In the meantime, I’m tempted to go right back out and buy another pair of these – yes, they really are that great! They also come in a dark grey color called “Grille,” in case you are looking for a pair of pants in that color instead of black.

Your Turn:

Do you have any item of clothing that you’d recommend to me as a “must have” piece for The Amazing Race? Yes, I’m serious – I figure the only way that I can make this dream come true is to be ready for it to come true. If you’re familiar with the program, you’re only allowed to bring a carry-on sized bag, so everything you bring needs to be easily washed, durable, fashionable, and mix-and-match. What comes to mind that you own??

 

 

Alison Armstrong from UnderstandingMen.com

Posted on by Sandy

aaToday, I received an email newsletter from UnderstandingMen.com. Many moons ago, I attended a number of Alison’s workshops, and in fact, back in 2008, I was honored to be the first person to interview Alison for a podcast!

I wanted to share a quote found in the newsletter, because it pretty much sums up the Fempowerment model!

“Women underestimate the power of femininity. We’ve been led to believe that it is fluff and frivolity. When women realize that their femininity has the innate ability to connect, profoundly nurture and inspire the best in others, we might finally embrace the source of our own magic.” — Alison Armstrong

Although some parts of the podcast are outdated (no more listener call-in line, for example!), HERE is the link to that “Coffee Chat” with Aaa2lison. You can also find all my past podcasts on iTunes by searching on the term Bond Girl in the iTunes Store, then scrolling down to the Podcasts section. The podcast is entitled Fempowerment: A Guide To Unleashing Your Inner Bond Girl and has a red background with a standing Bond Girl. On my iTunes (perhaps it’s just pandering to my ego…) it comes up first in the Podcast list for that search term.

Oh – and be forewarned, I’m working with BeingJamesBond.com now, and we will be crafting new podcasts that will “cross over” between both of our websites, coming soon!

 

 

Haters…and Stalking…

Posted on by Sandy

poleWay back in the Paleolithic Era, I agreed to be part of an article in the S.F. Chronicle called something like “different ways folks exercise.” I was doing a lot of vertical gymnastics back then (a/k/a pole dancing), and they were curious about that.

The photo at the left is the photo that they used. I thought it was fun, and still have a copy of the article somewhere. I thought it was fun, that is, until I accidentally went online, and met with The Haters.

The Haters are folks who make comments like “look at all that cellulite” and “she makes me throw up a little in my mouth.”

Just a minute or so ago, in sending someone the link to my first book (which I will update some day, swear), I saw that there were some “newer” reviews of my book. Since the book was published in 2007, I was curious to look.

Haters!

The bad part is that the hater reviews pull the reviews of my book down. With no newer reviews to “trump” them, they have high weight. (So, if you happen to read this blog, and happen to want to go review my book on Amazon, would’ja? (click here))

It also really wrecks my day. My friend Jen at Wine To Weightlifting wrote about this a while back (click here). I really felt her pain.

oldWhen I was a little kid (that’s me, front right), I was very shy, introverted, a bookworm. I wasn’t particularly socially aware, and definitely was super awkward socially. As I was always head and shoulders (literally!) taller than anyone in my class, I think this led to me believing that the quieter I was, the less I would be “seen.” (Thank goodness my father always poked me between the shoulder blades to “stand up straight,” so I didn’t get the terrible stoop that you see in a lot of very tall women.)

Once I got to college, I decided that enough was enough. I wanted to stop being so afraid. I was always afraid of doing something to “stand out” – when, at over 6 feet, Hell, I stood out anyway.

So I copied a dorm mate.

She was popular, but in a really nice way. She was sort of heavy, had lots of friends, was helpful, and made you laugh. She was easy going. I think that the statute of limitations on being a stalker has now lapsed, so I admit, I stalked her. It wasn’t so hard, because she wasn’t great at school, and so I offered to tutor her. I slowly changed what I wore, what I laughed at, and how I saw the world. I came to realize that everyone is pretty much self-obsessed – they’re not looking at you and waiting for you to foul up. They could care less about you – unless it’s about what you think about them!

I met up with her (through the genius of Facebook) decades later. She’s the same gal. She remarked at our lunch that she couldn’t figure out why “we weren’t better friends and didn’t hang out more” in college. Again, that statute of limitations thing being over, I admitted that I’d stalked her. Well, what I said was, “I think that you like me because I am you.”

I explained what I’d done, and she burst into tears. She said that after I went abroad, she left school and had “barely” graduated. She said she couldn’t figure out why someone “as smart as me” would want to copy someone “who could barely get by” like her. A lot of tears and a lot of hugs later, I think we both came away enriched and with a different perspective on who we were, oh so long ago.

But I still have that thin skin that I had as a young girl.

foodA while back, I was asked to be “staff” (a sous chef, actually) at a women’s retreat in Sayulita, Mexico. I thought that sounded great – especially as I could attend the retreat, and working would pay for my room! That is, until I was “interviewed” by the leader. She told me that the week-long retreat would be all about “Re-Becoming Yourself As A Child.” I remember so clearly telling her over a cup of coffee (about 10 days before the retreat!) that I did not WANT to “re-become” myself as a child. I told her the whole story – about who I used to be, about copying the woman at college – and, you know what? She actually didn’t believe it. I’d known this woman through other women’s and coaching venues, and she knew me as a gregarious, lighthearted, fun, accomplished leader with a ton of admiring friends and clients. She explained that if I was to be on the Team, I “had to” do the exercises, and that’s what it was going to be about.

I almost didn’t go.

Flash forward to the middle of the retreat – the other women are prancing around on the sand of the beach, flying paper airplanes and stringing daisies, leaping and skipping.

sayulitaI was sitting against a rock, reading a book, but watching them from afar.

That evening at the “Sharing” the leader basically “took me down.” She said that I wasn’t “playing by the rules” and was being “petulant.”

And I had an actual stomping foot, standing up, scaring-the-other-women fit about it. I explained to her that this was who I was as a child. That I had told her that I had re-invented myself, and that the person everyone “knew as me” was a fiction built up over time by me out of will power and spit. That the girl that everyone had seen was indeed who I had been – because it was not until college that I invented the person I was today.

After a lot of silence, and some “grim chin” looks from the leader (who was, I guess, processing that I had, in fact, told her this), one of the other (lovely) participants in the retreat piped up. She said, “Why don’t you do the exercises, as the child that the new you would have been, instead?”

So this is what I did. But the taste of who I had been, and “re-embodying” her (there was a lot of hypnosis, deep work, etc. involved in this retreat) remained like ashes in my mouth.

Just yesterday, a business partner and I faced an issue that we needed to investigate. I had found something through some legal sleuthing that was potentially worrisome to part of a business we’re incubating. She said, “let’s just call them.”

I couldn’t believe it – but that’s what we did. I am still the original little girl inside – wanting to know everything and have investigated everything before even potentially entering on a risky path. My friend? She just picked up the phone! (She also said, “Wow, I just learned something really big about you.”)

So what’s this post about? People often don’t come from where you think they do. And it’s often not some awful Oprah-esque backstory. Maybe it’s about the fact that you might be being “stalked” by someone right this second. And she’d be amazed that someone wouldn’t “want to be like you.” Or maybe this post’s about not hating on people. Just stop it. There’s enough of that crap going on out there – let’s all keep ourselves above the mire, shall we? Or maybe it’s just about trying to get someone to go post something nice about my book. Hmmmm. (That’s enough about me…what do you think about me? 😉 )

Your turn:

Have you ever used “fake it ’til you make it” in an area of your life?

Who have you emulated? Why? Or perhaps who have you avoided emulating? Why?

How do you deal with Haters? What tips could you share with us thin-skinned folk?

What would you tell your “little girl” self?