Recommitment A.G.A.I.N. …

Yup, recommitment. Again.

My Amazing Race partner and I haven’t heard anything, and the CBS rep had said that we’d hear “Monday or Tuesday” if we were chosen to go on to the next step in L.A. So, unlikely.

Both of us were distressed at “where we are,” body-wise, compared to where we’ve “been.” We talked a lot about this when sitting on line (I mean, if you get there at 4 a.m., you have 5 hours ’til the doors open, and not all of it can be spent practicing your “schpiel”!)

I was told by my doctor that doing the Lavaman triathlon then 5 marathons in a row in a year (it was an accident . . . ), I screwed up my hormones. My TAR partner believes that doing the Ironman screwed up hers. She has done Lavaman (with me) and a few “fun runs” and the back half of the Nike Women’s Marathon with me since, but she feels that, post-Ironman, it’s been a lot harder for her to lose weight, etc.

And – let’s get it straight here – that was all now a couple years ago.

I am also battling a hip/back thing that’s been going on for like 5-6 weeks now. I’ve seen my fascia guy, my chiropractor, and yesterday I saw my doctor. He put me on a drug for sciatica, but I am pretty sure that’s not the issue. It’s frustrating and so I haven’t really done Crossfit or much of anything for that time, since every time I do, it aggravates the issue.

Back to weight. I’m precisely 30 pounds overweight now, and can’t address it at all. My body fat percentage is over 30%, and my “waist to hip” ratio is 84, so very fast approaching “apple” … already “graduated” from “pear” to “avocado” and of course, the rounder you are (the higher your “waist to hip ratio”) the more toxic fat you’re carrying. My waist to height is 46.4, up 1.4 inches since I started the Dr. Sara Gottfried Hormone Reset Diet now 21 days ago.

Yup, another “eating plan” a/k/a diet. These aren’t “cabbage soup” diets, these eating plans/diets make sense to me. This one goes for 21 days – every 3 days, you cut another “thing” out of your diet. It’s based on how long it takes to reset the hormone that you’re addressing. So, at the beginning, you quit alcohol and eating “four footed animals.” This addresses estrogen. Then 3 days later you quit eating sugar/sugar substitutes (except stevia) – and stay with the no alcohol/meat. It goes through subtracting fruit (including nightshades), then caffeine, then grains, then dairy, then “toxins” (shampoo, makeup, etc.)

I wasn’t drinking that much alcohol anyway – some champagne on Friday nights with my husband. The “four footed animals” was a little difficult because we eat a lot of beef and pork, though I diligently swapped out my recipes for turkey, chicken, and shellfish (I am allergic to fish-fish). Sugar/sugar substitutes was no big deal because I don’t eat any. Same with fruit. These are remainders from doing the “Bulletproof” Diet earlier this year, again, trying to address my burgeoning tummy. Caffeine wasn’t that big of a deal to give up. Though as we have Bulletproof coffee in the morning, I swapped to decaf (it’s only 2 cups a day), then used ghee instead of butter. I don’t eat grains. I don’t use toxins.

Moddie and I did measurements yesterday, and my waist at 1″ below my belly button, as well as at my belly button, is up an inch after the 21 Day thing.

I stopped doing “metcons” at Crossfit months and months ago, when it was recommended that they were potentially affecting my hormones. I’m not sure what to do from here. The only thing I know how to do is eat immensely clean, and work out. And sleep. (I sleep like the dead.) The thing is, the working out I know how to do to address weight is running, or potentially cycling or swimming. Because of the hip/back issue, I haven’t really been doing Crossfit for the last while, as I said – and I know I need to get recommitted to that. But running hurts my back.

Moddie and I are going to check out Pelo – a new spin class that’s scientifically based on perceived exertion that is actually quantified via bikes on the computers. As if I can afford this, when I’m paying close to $400 for Crossfit, but I just don’t know what to do.

We’re going to Hawaii in a few weeks, because my husband needs a break. I put on a bathing suit yesterday and just cried. Why is this happening to me?!?! I work so, so hard. I eat completely clean, and my calorie intake is around 1600/day. I sleep well. When I tell folks about the inability to lose weight, they say that it “must” be “muscle gain.” Nope – my fat percentage isn’t budging from 30%.

I feel like this is penance for having been so “easily slim” through my 30s. My legs are so fat that the only place they don’t touch is a tiny window between my ankle bones and mid-shin.

Of course the “evil twin” in me wants to just give up. Have a donut. Have a glass of wine. I feel completely deprived – tell myself that if I can lose one percentage of body fat or even (though of course scales aren’t reliable), 5 pounds, I can have, like, an orange. But no. So the regime continues, lemon/turmeric/ginger hot water in the morning, Bulletproof coffee, “snack” of 1 cup of chia seeds soaked in almond milk and coconut milk (‘pudding’), lunch of the previous day’s dinner, dinner of about a pound of vegetables (yes, really) – plus chicken, turkey, or shellfish – all eaten within about a 6 hour period. No starchy vegetables – standards are zucchini, brussels sprouts, kale, chard, Southern greens, squash (various kinds), salad greens (no tomatoes/bell peppers because of the nightshade issue), onions. Yup, pretty boring. Logging everything (again) in MyFitnessPal.

So, that’s my pity blog post for the day.

And…sigh…we took photos yesterday. So, here they are. Sure, we’re not Biggest Loser material, but this is not healthy….In fact, since my hands are on my head, my belly looks better than it usually does (it’s “pulled up” by my hands being on my head – it usually sags down over my beltline).

I really don’t know what else to do.