If you are what you eat…

…I am a huge HUGE hunk of blue cheese, baguette, bell pepper, tomatoes, meatballs, and a couple glasses of wine.

Sounds pretty good, eh? The problem is – this is what I ate when I returned home from a FABOO workshop (more on that in a second) – at 11:00 last night! And then SLEPT on it!

AND I had dinner, too, at a more “regular time.” So why did I eat this? Because my darlin’ husband was sitting on the couch, watching a new TV show (Warehouse 13, something like that) eating it, and it looked good. Noooo I was not “hungry.”

We’re not talkin’ a taste. We are talkin’ serious blue cheese hunkage.

Now that I signed up to be a BeachBody coach, I am being way more conscientous about getting out and doing SOMETHING to move my body every day (even if it’s walking the dog, instead of just “letting him outside”). I even did an “accountability partnership thang” with Sheila Stewart last night after her chat at Empower180 – we both have, as she lovingly put it, “pork chops” on our sides, and so we’re going to text each other to get movin’.

See, the thing is though, this just doesn’t keep me away from the food. Even when we were on that yoga retreat in Peru…my hubby is like James Bond in From Russia With Love. Remember the suitcase full of caviar, champagne, etc. that he snuck into the “Health Spa”? That’s my “James”! We went “over the wall” – dining on wine, beef, alpaca, cuy, you name it, while everyone else was having vegetarian. Yeah, bad. just SO BAD. Then we would sleep IN and not do the yoga in the morning…!!!

I start out really well in the mornings. I usually have a cup of Creme Caramel tea with a little stevia, and a Shakeology shake. The “Creme Caramel” tea is one of those Lipton teas that if you add a tiny bit of stevia (which doesn’t increase your insulin), tastes GREAT and has no calories. I have a sweet tooth, what can I say (heck, I have a FOOD tooth!), and I love starting my day out with one of these, especially if I can sip it when out walking the dog.

For lunch, I’m usually good too! I might have a snack in between breakfast and lunch of a chicken leg – then lunch a big salad, something like that. THEN….3:00 happens.

I turn into like Solitaire Jekyl. I will eat ANYTHING that’s in my way. And I don’t care. I have the “good Soli” in the back of my head saying “hello, get your HAND OUT OF THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS and WHAT are you doing with a glass of wine?” – but I don’t listen to her. I’m sure there is some chemical reason – brain dip, serotonin dip, avocado dip…whatever. I’m sure I should do something like work out at 3:00. But Evil Soli takes over and it’s OVER! I’m watching Bones reruns on TV and snacking on whatever I can find. Then I make dinner for my James, snacking all the while, and eat that, too!

Mind you, there isn’t that much “bad stuff” left in the house (the Evil Girl Scout Cookies and chocolate chips are gone now) – but my hubby loves to bring home things like baguettes and cheese. Somehow, he has no problem taking a small slice of cheese, and then a slice of bread, and munching on that, and calling it a day. Me? I’m like a freakin’ wolverine, I just wallow in the stuff. Bad ferret. Bad.

My brain says that I am working so hard on all other stuff – NOT spending $, 3 businesses, coaching, relationship, etc. – that it just doesn’t want to “deal with” this issue “too.” I have made a “deal” with my brain (scary how that happens, innit?) – that if I keep working out every day (yes, walking the dog counts as working out, because I wasn’t doing it before), I won’t bother it right now about the food rampages. Working out every day AND getting onto a more even keel foodwise makes my little brain stamp its tiny little feet in tantrum.

But I DO KNOW that the reason I don’t really want to work out – the reason that it’s hard for me to even walk uphill with the dog without huffing and puffing – is BECAUSE I’m doing things like eating hunks of Stilton on baguettes and drinking red wine and then going to bed right afterwards. I’m lucky I don’t wake up with a cheese-shaped hunk sticking out of my thigh. I DO KNOW that’s why I feel like crap. I do. I do.

And I can type this feeling all virtuous because it’s 9:00, I have done my walk, I have 2 hours of pole dancing class in an hour, and I have had tea and my Shakeology and feel TOTALLY FINE. My will power is HIGH.

Just waitin’ on 3:00…!!!